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Post by julian on Dec 3, 2009 1:32:58 GMT -5
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"Damn It!" Kaden snapped, as two large fists smashed down on either side of his keyboard. How could she be so stupid, she knew that she couldn't hold her liquor. And Abby, that bitch, what the hell was she thinking?! She knew exactly what these two had been through; she'd stood there and watched as it happened, and she damn well knew how Adia reacted when she wasn't thinking properly. Those same large hands found their way to his face, but before he could rest his chin upon them, the large man tore from his chair, and straight out the door. Other than his boots and jacket, of which he'd grabbed right before his exit, he'd not even given the fact that he was in his pajamas a second thought. Hell, he'd forgot to lock the door behind him, as he hurried off in such a haste. He was angry, but at the same time scared. Adia hadn't been good at taking any type of rejection since she'd fallen into depression, and instead of trying to talk her way through it, she'd figured, she'd just cut her way out. He couldn't bear the thought, he couldn't watch her make the same mistake twice, and surely not because of him.
"Adia, we need to talk." Kaden said, turning the corner of their bedroom to find nothing. Back then, if he wanted to find her, she'd be sitting in the middle of the bed with a ton of pictures around her, or she just wasn't there. Things had been hard for them this past few weeks, and they were trying their hardest to start over. They'd made a mistake somewhere along the way, which resulted in a pregnancy that neither were ready for. Well, that Adia wasn't ready for. Kaden didn't have much of a choice in the matter, it wasn't his body, so whatever choice she made, he was behind her one hundred percent. Well, over time, a hundred turned into ninety, then eighty. He felt confused, looking at a woman that he was so desperately in love with, and knowing that she'd decided that his child wasn't good enough for her. He resented her for that, you could say. Though it wasn't planned, he wouldn't have minded having a baby, but like I said it didn't matter. He didn't deserve a say, because he'd had his chance, and all he did was stood there. "Aide?" The gentle giant called out once more, but again, no answer lay in wait. Only the sound of water dripping from the bathroom, just off the bedroom closet.
Kaden shook his head, automatically assuming that she'd fallen asleep in the tub again, but as round that corner, he'd been set shock-stricken. A once beautiful girl, full of life, was laying there on the red floor in front of the tub. Her face, in which would glow like the sun, was pale and her skin cold to the touch. He'd known this, because the first thing he'd done was to check her pulse, but in his panic he couldn't concentrate hard enough. So, instead, the large man grabbed her up in his arms and shook her. It wasn't until then he'd seen the marks down her arms, that the blood on the floor made sense to him. He'd screamed out her name so many times, that if you ask him now, he couldn't remember. All he knows is that sometime before the paramedics showed up, he'd laid her body on that bed where her pictures were scattered, and did everything he could to warm her body and tend her wounds. And as she awoke, and looked up at him, the most terrible sound he'd ever heard came out of her mouth, and broke his heart into pieces. It was a traumatic mixture of fear and relief that he had ever heard.
Right now, that sound echoed through his head, as his boots stomped against the cold ground, up Abby's walkway and to her door. His fists clenched tightly, before pounding upon it as if he had some sort of bone-to-pick with the person on the other side. After no answer, a panic-filled Kaden, reached his hand under the small birdhouse that sat there next to her step, and removed a key from underneath. If anyone ever asked him how he knew it was there, he'd say instinct, but he and Abby knew the truth. Shoving it into the door, he'd rushed in, only to find a television turned on and a sleeping Abigail alone on the couch. "Abby." He said, making his way over to that couch to shake the sleeping brunette. "Adia, where's Adia?" Spilled from his lips, only go get a confused look, a shrug and a half-assed answer that consisted of not knowing. Quickly, Kaden made his way to the bathroom, slammed open the door and let his eyes fall to the first place his heart told him. "What are you doing?" He growled.
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hope this works. minithread, here i come. and i was too
lazy to make a new polyvore so you got what i did for the
other thread. just take away the goodies and we'll be set.
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Post by adia on Dec 3, 2009 10:24:44 GMT -5
  - - - - - - - - - - - -credit :: jersey word count :: 1718 threads :: click tagged :: coop // kaden - - - - - - - - - - - -
The computer screen shone directly onto her face, causing her complexion to seem almost translucent in contrast.
Green eyes peered away from the screen after a few moments, noticing Abby had fallen fast asleep. There was no one around, and not a sound could be heard. The house was dark, and while Adia normally felt safe in the dark, tonight, her drunken state allowed grief to control her, welcomed depression with open arms, and as hard as she tried to fight it, tell herself it wasn't worth it, that things would work out in the end, her heart was crumbling like toast, and a numb feeling spread rapidly throughout her body.
She was shaking, her mind clouded with racing thoughts, all pessimistic. She knew she'd destroyed herself a long time ago. She'd destroyed both of them. She had to try though, she needed to tell him, he'd deserved to know.
Adia closed her eyes for only a moment, and then she did something she'd promised him she'd never do again. She could remember barely opening her eyes as paramedics crowded her, a crying Kaden standing in the background, worried terribly about her. She'd only smiled weakly that night, her heart racing while an unbearable stinging sensation crashed through her body, spreading from her arms, her own personal poison hitting her all at once, and the once dazzling smile she could light up a room with slowly fading into cries, screams of agony.
She was given a sedative to calm her down, and the next time she awoke she was in a hospital bed, her brother holding one hand while Kaden stuck faithfully by the other.
She had kept misreading the signs. She'd had an abortion, a fate she'd never chosen for herself, because of fear and purely selfish reasons, and in that one moment in time where she didn't think, she'd forgotten Kaden's feelings in the matter. She'd given herself to him a long time ago, given him everything she was, and in that moment forgot that a child inside of her womb was also his. She'd stripped him of all of his rights in the matter, an while he may have held resentment toward her, he'd helped her, stood by her side every second after the abortion. It was a few days after denial that she'd fallen into a severe depression, placing all blame, guilt and resentment on herself, and it was the one night he'd left her alone that she'd had the time and space to breath, and think.
Her hands were shaking, a silver blade pressed against her pale, flawless complexion, tears flowing from her eyes, her lips dry and faded. There was a horrible smell from the toilet where she'd just given up her dinner willingly after a long battle to fight it, and the sink was running, a fate it had been given after she'd collapsed to the floor.
Adia's back was to the tub, an empty bottle of Jack Daniels next to her, She was only wearing a pair of shorts and a long sleeved shirt. Her hair was down in it's usual forest of waves, and her feet were bare, her stubby nails, as well as toenails painted black.
"I killed it..I killed our baby. I never even gave you a chance to put an input in! Why are you still here?!"
More tears began to rain down her reddened eyes, her cheeks quickly becoming flushed as she became delusional, talking to an empty space she saw Kaden standing in.
"Don't look at me like that! I have to do this.I have to punish myself!"
He never said a word, and eventually, disappeared. It was then she'd gone into her first screaming fit for the night, drying out her tear ducts, forgetting there was a blade pressed against her skin, and in a moment where all of her morals had disappeared, transferred her anger, pain, and sorrow onto her arms and legs.
She still remembered bits and pieces of the night such as the cold, tile floor of their apartment, waking up on their bed with a warm, sticky sensation all over her arms and legs, and crying over a ruined photo spread.
Adia found herself in the same position she was in that night, with a blade in her hand, pressed tightly against her skin, her eyes full of tears, and her heart full of pain. This time, with the promise she'd made Kaden haunting her mind.
"You promised him, Adia. You promised him you would never cut again. You hut him so many times, murdering his child without a say, breaking up with him because you thought he'd be happier without you..putting him through all of this the first time!"
She kept the knife held against her arm.
"Just, one small cut, nothing too deep..just enough to take away the pain of knowing you messed this up for yourself.."
She took a few deep breaths, a few tears falling from er sparkling green eyes as she stared up at the ceiling, closing her eyes and pressing the knife harder against her skin.
"He had so many option, and you were lucky. There are prettier girls out there, girls that will wear short skirts and play social butterfly. You were never his type. You saw this coming..and so what if he still keeps rocky road in the freezer at his place..it doesn't mean a thing..you can't make him happy, Adia. Just, stop playing games with him and let him go..go be happy.."
She started putting herself down, the alcohol clouding her judgement and thoughts, causing her to forget the reasons in which they fell in love to begin with. It didn't matter right now. In this moment, she wasn't pretty enough, or successful enough, or smart enough.
She pressed the knife a little harder against her pale skin, about to break the skin when she heard a familiar voice, a loud thumping sound running toward her as his heavy footprints pounded against Abby's floor.
Adia shook her head and closed her eyes.
"Don't do this, Aide. Don't you dare do this to yourself.."
Her heart raced, and she kept the knife against her skin, and in one moment, she found herself fighting in a battle to survive.
Opening her eyes, the sleeves of her sweater rolled up, she threw the knife across the bathroom floor right before hearing his voice again.
"What are you doing?"
The voice growled at her. She'd spent the past hour struggling with herself, a battle to keep her skin clean, unmarked, and after looking at the knife across the room, she looked up at the source from which the growling voice came.
"You're not real.."
She spoke in a calm voice, taking deep breaths with the stick sensation of tears that had fallen staining her face.
"I've seen you before, but he's not coming. He won't, and it's not his responsibility to. He doesn't need to worry either. He knows I promised him.."
She turned the direction of her stare to the knife again.
"One cut wouldn't hurt. He'd never know. It would take away the pain just like it always has. People have been talking. They tell me he's not ove me, but he needs to be."
She focused her stare at the knife, flashbacks of that night kept replaying in her head, as if a residual haunting, a realistic reminder of what she was capable of doing to herself.
"I broke up with him so he could be free. He didn't need me. I wasn't right for him. I could never make him happy the way he deserved to be.."
With her eyes focused on the knife, she could still feel it's cold metal against her arm, and she yearned for it.
"It's not far away, and he can't stop me this time.."
Her body began to shake, and her eyes widened. She could feel a surge spread throughout her body, and her voice remained calm. Her mind was now racing with words spoken, the little devil on her right shoulder telling her to do it, telling her to crawl over and cut herself until she passed out, until she couldn't remember the pain anymore.
Tears began streaming down her face again, but she couldn't feel them, she couldn't feel anything. She'd become completely numb, drowning in grief, self pity and pain.
"Please leave."
She thought he was still a mirage, an illusion, and she closed her eyes, praying he would disappear. She couldn't do it, not with him looking over her shoulder. Not with those eyes staring down at her in an almost realistic way.
"I can't keep my promises! I need the pain. I need the damn physical pain! It never goes away!"
Her voice became elevated, and she opened her pretty, green eyes to find he was still there. It was at that time she let herself slide from her sitting position to a laying down one, closing her eyes tight after rolling herself up into a ball. She couldn't look at this illusion any longer, he was tearing her heart into pieces right in front of her eyes.
"I wish I hadn't have done it. I should have neverlet him go. I thought he'd be happier."
Her whispered words barely filled the air, and behind her closed eyes, she could see herself reaching for the knife. |
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Post by julian on Dec 4, 2009 0:59:07 GMT -5
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You're not real, was the first thing to come out of those perfect lips, and though he was slightly confused about it, the comment made his heart sank. Had she already cut herself? He couldn't tell. All he knew is that she smelled of alcohol and had left him in a hurry. "I'm not real?" He asked, bending down on one knee, and grabbing her arms with both hands, as he shouted. "Adia!". His words came out thick and angry, hoping to alert her, but to no prevail. The put together girl who he had once known, was gone, and this was what was left; a shell full of regret, doubt and temptation. He bent down on one knee, and listened to her as she rambled on as if he weren't even there. How she'd hurt him, and how he couldn't stop her all in one thought, because to her, he wasn't close enough to. His bright blue eyes stared down at her, and he actually felt scared. Not for himself, or even her safety, because in all honesty he would be the one to stop her. But, because she seemed to have fallen so deep into this depression that she'd been hiding, and she seemed to have finally snapped. Kaden wrapped his arms around the short blonde, and pulled her from her comfort zone. This wasn't the time to lay down and play dead. He had to get through to her, or he was going to lose her forever. No matter how much she was asking him to leave.
The next words to leave her mouth were the worst. Spatting about how she deserved whatever punishment she thought she was giving herself, and Kaden had had enough. Reaching down next to her, he grabbed that bottle and in a fit of anger, slammed it against the sink that sat just under an old fashioned mirrored medicine cabinet. Pieces of shattered glass sprawled all over the place, including a small fragment that had pinched into the palm of his hand. Kaden didn't care. The only thing he was thinking about was his girl sitting there on the floor with a memory in mind. No his girl. She wasn't his girl, and for the better part of the time she'd been away, he'd questioned if she ever really was. Kaden looked over to the knife on the floor, and couldn't help but stare at it. It was quite a ways away from her, and with a clean blade. His heart felt relief, she didn't cut herself. It wasn't until a soft whisper caught his attention and he'd turned back to look at his damsel sliding to the floor. She was so fragile, in his mind. One wrong move and she would shatter like the glass of that bottle.
"I wish I hadn't have done it. I should have never let him go. I thought he'd be happier." Her words echoed in his head, as he stood there, looking down at her. He couldn't help but want to save her, and even worse off, he knew that it wasn't going to be easy. Things were so complicated between these two. It was too much history in such a flawed relationship, but somehow, over the years Kaden had found that he needed her with him. He needed her safe, he needed her well. While she'd been off on her adventure, disappearing, in what he finds now to be for his own happiness, Kaden felt nothing but worry. He wondered if she was alright, if she'd come home. He'd spent nights laying in his bed, with the cold blankets that she used to snuggle away from him and the untouched pillow, in which she would rest her head. The boy would sit at the table, in that same old chair, and just hope she would walk through that door. Her arms wide open, full of apologies and love, and him of acceptance. After a while, things just got a little easier. He'd no longer rush to the window to see if it was his Aide, when a car passed by.
And now, suddenly, the girl who disappeared without a word, was laying at his feet, and he knew she needed him more now than ever. He just couldn't turn her away.
With a sigh from his lips, and a pain in his heart, Kaden bent down once more and wrapped those arms around her in like fashion as before. It didn't take much to pick her up and pulling her small frame close to his chest. And even as Abigail ran to the door to find out what the loud racket had been, he didn't flinch. Kaden simply pulled his angel into his arms, and carried her out of the bathroom without a word. She'd struggled a bit, not wanting the touch of a Kaden who just didn't exist upon her body, but it wasn't going to stop him from keeping her safe. When it had gotten too hard, he'd let her feet hit the floor only long enough to resituate his grip on her and toss her over his shoulder as if she were some sort of duffle bag. Abby protest in the background, and Kaden turned around. His face full of anger, almost as if he were to burst. "God damn it, Abby, you know better than this. You know what this could have done to her!" He scolded. The two went at it for what seemed to be an hour, though it couldn't have been ten minutes, and in the end it was like it was before. Bad influences had no business being around his girl, and that meant Abby needed to stay away. He only did it because he cared. The downside to caring too much, meant that he became controlling, and when that took him over, he forgot what was his and what wasn't.
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lalalala.
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