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Post by coop on Nov 19, 2009 6:24:27 GMT -5
 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ( CARTER. OUTFIT. 799 WORDS. COMPLETE! ) "CLOSER" LYRICS ARE CREDIT TO NEYO CREDIT OH SO COOPERNATURAL ! @ CAUTION 2.0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The tilts of Abigail's fingertips genitally massaged her temple, as she sat there alone at her end of the bar. The air registered thick with tension and tightness, almost to the point where she couldn't breathe and didn't want to move. Her body ached from laying in her bed, as lately, she'd been trying her best to avoid her life's drama and the best way she knew how was by sleeping off her depression. She was so sick of everything around her, she felt ill with anger and fear. Pretty girls always had to smile. That's what her mother had told her, long ago. it's just too bad that she forgot to mention that the world was full of pain and the only thing you were doing was smiling pretty for destruction. Abigail's life didn't used to be this chaotic. In fact, it had a peaceful feel full of life and a flutter of spontaneous fun at every corner. Normally, this girl's smile could light up a room, and it was almost impossible for her not to find something amazing out of anything. Well, reality sucks and decided it was going to smack this princess right across her lightly painted lips on a daily basis.
I bet you're wondering why this beautiful las has suck a thorn in her back. How this woman could possible find any bad with her rich lifestyle, rising career and the attractive love of her life by her side. Well, if you backtrack just a moment, and kept your eyes open, you'd be on key. Abby's life wasn't exactly going to great, of late. That fabulous rising career didn't exist, and any riches had been long gone since before her birth. to tell you the truth, it didn't look like things would be looking up in that department for a very... very long time. And that love? Hmm, well, Carter hadn't been himself for the past few months. The brilliant mood that he used to set had fallen into an oppressed anger, sloppy standards and slip ups from lips that once brought sheer happiness; now only seemed to cause pain and tears. Abigail let her fingers slither over to the bridge of her nose, and with a willful yawn, the starlet stroked her septum in an attempt to calm her mind from all it's hectic downfall. She was dressed for perfection; you could hardly tell she laid in bed all day up until she had to leave. She'd rested when she returned home, as well...which, would explain the aching she felt in the bridge of her back down to her tail bone, but the truth was, she just missed her friends. That's what tonight was all about, you know. Friends, fun and maybe, if she was desperate enough, a nice toned body taking the place of that pillow that lay next to her in bed.
It was just too bad it didn't look like a party.
Still, Abby continued to sit there, her eyes gazing over the dance floor, as her hands made their way down to the drink that had just been placed in front of her. It wasn't from Zeke, that was sure, but it was a drink all the same. The Townie's leg wobbled lightly back and forth against the ground in boredom, as her fingers traced the lines of the glass. A fury beat around her telling so many people to get up off their lazy asses and shake it on the dance floor, and all that it told her was she was alone, waiting. Always waiting. And just like perfect clockwork, her eyes found themselves back on that bar as her self-proclaimed baby sister walked through the crowd behind her and seated herself on the couch. Should I call her? She asked herself, as her eyes lifted to see an unordered drink placed in front of her. With raised brow, her hazel orbs glanced up at the tender who'd trained her and without a word he nodded to the supplier of that drink. Without thinking, Abby turned her head and made the mistake of making eye contact with a man who was now holding his drink up in introduction. Just being polite, she wrapped her fingers around the glass in front of her, a green martini that she did not intend on consuming, and returned the gesture with a smile as "Ah, kill me..." seeped from her fake lips. She'd been stood up. Well, that was what she had assumed, at least, along with Oh, boy is she gonna hear it. turning on her seat, Abby pushed the drink to the edge of the bar, in refusal. Her arms found themselves being crossed and once more, she searched the crowd for a familiar face to take company on.
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Post by carter anthony hoffman on Nov 20, 2009 10:39:16 GMT -5
 hands like secrets are the hardest thing to[/i][/size][/font][/color] KEEP FROM YOU, LINES AND PHRASES LIKE KNIVES- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
TAG: ABIGAIL . LOCATION: LOTUS NIGHT CLUB
OUTFIT: HERE . WORD COUNT: EIGHT SIXTY FIVE
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/font][/b][/center] When people said that a lot of things can change over a short span of time Carter was never really one to believe it until it happened to him. He had went from a happy, content, pro-football player who was in love and ready to settle down to a somewhat bitter asshole who now viewed girls as nothing more than a quick fuck or something to look at. If you were one of the people whom knew Carter back when he was somewhat decent then took a look at him now it was probably safe to assume that you wouldn't recognize the young man because of how much he changed. Even Carter was beginning to grow ashamed who was looking him back in the mirror every morning. This wasn't who he wanted to become, he wanted to be a decent guy, he wanted to be able to go back to how he was, he wanted to let someone in again and more than anything he wanted to fix things with the girl who had completely torn him down, Abigail. The two had been perfect for each other, Carter thought and most girls after two years would be thrilled to be proposed to but Abigail? No, she hadn't wanted it and that was when all the trouble started. It had happened awhile ago: not long enough ago to completely forget about it but not soon enough to still hate her for it. Right now he wasn't sure what ground he stood on, he wanted to be her friend again, he wanted to someday work back up to where they were but it was hard for him, he didn't want to be hurt and he didn't want Abby to know how much what she did had affected him.
Now that time had passed he was healing slowly but he knew that part of him would always love her even if he wouldn't admit it himself. Carter was trying to move on and there was a girl that he was actually really starting to like despite the age difference. She made him feel a way that he hadn't since before the car accident that nearly claimed his life and left him with a slight limp every now and then. A way he hadn't since Abigail and himself went their separate ways, a way he hadn't felt since, well, the entire world started to become numb for him. He didn't have the career he wanted anymore, he had went from a star quarterback on the Patriots to an Assistant College Football coach, it wasn't his dream job but at it was it was something to do so he wasn't in the bar every moment of every day trying to drown out his sorrows. Not that he would do that though, he had far too much class to let others know how bothered he was by everything that happened. No, instead he used wit and humor to cover up how he really was feeling and so far so good, no one had picked up on the act. Well, at least no one had until he spoke to Abigail a little while ago in that blasted chat-room. Carter knew that he shouldn't be surprised that she saw through his defenses, she always had been able to. He could be at his lowest, in the absolute worst ever but be blocking it off with his cool, calm and humorous exterior and she would still notice. He really hated it sometimes.
Tonight he was going to forget about her for now though. He had nothing to do and didn't feel like calling anyone to hang out so instead of sitting around at home Carter got dressed and went to Lotus Night Club. He wasn't planning on dancing or trying to pick anyone up, he just liked the atmosphere and he knew that he could make decent conversation with someone there, anyone. He figured there was nothing wrong with that, right? Who knows, if he really needed it he would even find someone to take home or go to their home even though he had a nonexclusive relationship with Raegan, he liked her, she liked him but they hadn't made it official. Fuck that shit, he hated when things weren't figured out. With a sigh he moved over to the bar and dropped into an empty stool beside someone he didn't even take a second glance at. After ordering a drink he finally turned around on the stool and glanced around to see if he recognized anyone. As he spun the stool around his gaze caught sight of the girl beside him and he let out a small chuckle. "Unbelievable.
[/color]" He muttered as he turned back toward the bar and shook his head, the chuckle that he had let out long gone by now. " Abigail.[/color]" He spoke out in a simple greeting and gave a small nod of his head toward her. When the drink was given to him Carter took a sip out of it before placing it down on the bar top. " Come to drown away your sorrows?[/color]" Not that he really cared ( actually he did but he wouldn't act like it ). [/justify][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
NOTES: HOPE YOU DON'T MIND I SNAGGED [/size][/font][/center] |
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Post by coop on Nov 22, 2009 5:39:52 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ( CARTER. OUTFIT. 1032 WORDS. COMPLETE! ) "CLOSER" LYRICS ARE CREDIT TO NEYO CREDIT OH SO COOPERNATURAL ! @ CAUTION 2.0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You'd swear she sat there for hours. Her finger amiss on the ring of that glass, and the music bellowing around her into a supersonic wave of numb tones. That familiar face that she yearned for so much didn't seem to want to show. In that respect, the disappointed brunette turned herself toward the bar again. It had become her security blanket these past few nights. It wasn't as easy to tell unwanted attention to get lost when you were on the dance floor. She didn't know why. Maybe it was because this was her haven while working; her own little space in which she was the one in control. She could decide when enough was enough. She could flirt shamelessly and hide behind her title while the bar between she and the rest of the world played out the rule that no really did mean no. The only other explanation meant that she felt safe here. Nothing could touch her, because nothing would dare. Not the antics of Miles tearing her down just to get in her pants one more time, or those she claimed to be her friends talking behind her back and sneaking around. You could see everything and everyone, and though they could see you, they still couldn't touch you. Maybe that was her problem. She only wanted what she didn't need, and was too afraid of anything good for her. Too afraid to take a chance, because of the fear the girl had for the outcome. That had to be true, I mean, look at her. Look at where she is in her life. She'd set out, a brilliant mind and coward away when things got just a little too tough. That's how Abby's always been, though. Guarded and Insecure all mixed in one fancy little pink cocktail. You know the one. So pretty when you look at it, but sour on your tongue.
An olive arm rested itself flat upon the bar, as the other raised so that her palm lay smoothly against her cheek. A soft sigh of failure seeping out as the boredom set in, and just as she decided it was time to take her leave a body passed behind her with a scent she'd recognize anywhere. Abigail wasn't one to assume things. Okay, so that's a lie, it was completely her style to assume, but for once she just couldn't muster up the courage to admit it. Nothing could touch her, because nothing would dare. True as it is, tonight she was wrong; because, tonight, she was on the other side of that bar. Closing her eyes in a slight annoyance to the sound of her name, Abby managed to capture a smile on those pale pink lips of hers and face her fears as he took on that drink in his hand. Abby only offered a smile and a raised brow as a greeting, while she sat there looking at the blond stranger sitting next to her in his splendor. His attitude hidden but most definitely at his side, no doubt, asking her if she'd come to drown her sorrows. At that very moment, her sorrows weren't exactly what she was worried about, but all the same, she smiled. "Nope. Came to keep them company." She replied, taking that drink and passing it through her lips. Although the splash wasn't refreshing, it did inhabit a bitter taste of sin that reminded her if she had enough the night just might go by sooner.
The hate she felt for him was fueled by his new choice of lifestyle. It hadn't quite overtaken the place of the guilt she had for being so cruel with his proposal, because that guilt was accompanied by an annoyance that she just couldn't get over. The truth was, the man sitting next to her was supposed to be her happily ever after, but now he had become one of her closest enemies. She knew she had a large part to play in that, but she wasn't allowing herself to accept that either. Sometimes, it's just a lot easier to hate someone for the wrong reasons, than to apologize for the right ones. O'Connor's weren't exactly known for their to admit that they were wrong. They sure as hell knew how to hold a grudge, though. None of that mattered, not right now. This wasn't the moment where she was going to say she was sorry. This wasn't the moment that she was going to admit that she was wrong, and it most certainly would not be the moment that she told him that she missed him. Neither of them were ready for that. Not yet, at least. "You're not surrounded by your usual cloud of skank." Abigail stated with a sigh, unbeknownst to the attraction that Carter had for a certain little sister of hers. She tried to keep a smile, regardless of the fact that her words were honest and brutal.
Yes, it's true, she'd been on Carter's case for a while now. And it can't be denied that, of late, she just loves getting a rise out of him. You would too, though, if you were in her place. This wasn't the person she knew. Not at all. The guy she knew was sweet and kind and thought about others and women were more than objects to him. Even though she tried to get him to deny that, the person who he was, didn't change. Honestly, she had her reasons. How would you feel if the guy you were with for two years didn't fight for you? The man who declared his love for you for the world to see, but when it was time to try just once more, walked away and fell into the arms of every girl you've met, seen and heard of. With that said, Abby rolled her head back and glanced in his direction. "Not used to seeing you all by your lonesome." She rephrased herself. Tonight, she didn't need any drama if she could avoid it. Tonight, she didn't feel like fighting. Of course, with pride like theirs and egos to match, that most likely wouldn't be the case.
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of course not. we needed some carter/abby posting.
sorry it took so long, i planned on doing it last night,
but my bumpkin didn't feel so good. and the post kind
of blows, because i lost the original, and couldn't, for
the life of me, remember everything that i'd written, so
i just rambled. : /
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Post by carter anthony hoffman on Nov 22, 2009 14:20:15 GMT -5
hands like secrets are the hardest thing to [/i][/size][/font][/color] KEEP FROM YOU, LINES AND PHRASES LIKE KNIVES- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
TAG: ABIGAIL . LOCATION: LOTUS NIGHT CLUB
OUTFIT: HERE . WORD COUNT: ONE ZERO EIGHT FIVE
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/font][/b][/center] Carter had been raised in a pretty rough household, it was one full of abuse, harsh words and anger. It was amazing that he didn't turn out that way but if one thing did forever scar him it was those harsh words. The ones that always screamed he would never amount to anything, that he was worthless, that he was a piece of scum and other phrases of that nature. Those words had bore a hole into the back of a young Carter's mind and after he got emancipated at sixteen he was forever bitter toward the woman who had made him that way. From a young age he was always told that love would get one nowhere, that it wasn't worth the effort and it was just better to go through life with one night stands, drunken nights and random hook-ups. Carter had never believed that though, he didn't believe anything his mother said and after he got into college and met Abigail, well, he had his first real relationship. They had met during a class, had coffee together and a few months down the road Carter had asked her out. It had been a relationship that he never thought would happen because of his mother's words but things seemed perfect between them. They were two people who liked doing the same things, going out and partying, having fun and they did it with each other. At first it was nothing serious but that didn't mean that Carter hadn't stayed committed because he had.
The two years they spent together was one that Carter had enjoyed tremendously. He had fallen for her and he realized that there was nothing wrong with loving her. After he got drafted to the NFL they still stayed together and he had come home as often as possible. Then his accident happened and he had barely survived that. A week unconscious, a leg that would probably never work again and weeks of physical therapy that would make him have to give up his dream career. Abigail had been there for him at the beginning of the year when that accident happened and after that he knew that he had to try to move the relationship to the next level, he couldn't go through life worrying that he would die and lose her, he needed her to know how much he cared for her and how much she meant to him. So after he had healed up a bit Carter Hoffman did the one thing he never thought he would do. He pushed his fears aside and dropped to one knee, asking her to be his wife, to spend her life with him. He thought things were going to be great, that she would accept and they would have their happily ever after. Apparently he had been wrong because she told him to get out, that she didn't want it. That had killed Carter inside not only emotionally but it had confirmed that perhaps his mother's words were true. He did what she requested though and he left, hoping to never look back.
In all honesty Carter thought that Abigail didn't want him so he didn't fight for her. He refused to fight for someone who hated him, who apparently didn't love him as much as he loved her. Carter would have gone to the ends of the world and back for her to make her happy but apparently that wasn't enough for her. Apparently his mother was right when she told him that love only ended in heartbreak and that he would never be good enough for someone, that he was a failure and that it would have been better for him the sooner he learned that. Well, Abigail had made all those harsh memories come back to mind and he did the only thing that he could think of doing, the same thing he had done back when he was sixteen and he had ran. He ran from her and he ran from love and there wasn't a day in his life where he didn't look back on it and completely regret it. Carter had tried to do other things, to change his lifestyle and he had done just that. He had become the very person he swore to himself he wouldn't become. He no longer wanted love, he didn't want a relationship, he wanted to just have fun and try out what his mother told him would be the 'perfect' lifestyle. It had been alright for a little bit but now it seemed sort of old to him, he couldn't be that guy no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't go around anymore treating girls like they were objects, he was better than that and he knew it.
It would appear that tonight he would be sat beside the very girl who had broken him down, the one whom he had truly loved, the one who had destroyed the Carter Hoffman that most knew. "I figured I'd change things up tonight.
[/color]" He replied simply. In all honesty Carter wasn't looking to fight tonight, he came here because he needed to relax, because he needed to get her off of his mind and he needed to look toward the future. It was looking pretty bleak right now especially since he had asked Rae to be his girlfriend and she pretty much told him she didn't want that. That all she wanted was a casual friendship with the benefits of a relationship. He said he was cool with it but in all honesty he really wasn't, he'd be damned if she found that out though. " I can go find someone if you'd like then bring them over here for you to break down as well.[/color]" He spat out before bringing the cool glass to his lips and swallowing the rest of the drink that was in there quickly before getting the bartenders attention. " Leave the bottle. I'm going to need it.[/color]" The young man requested. His eyes darted over to take in the natural beauty beside him, the girl that he still loved and the girl that if she asked for him back he'd probably go back to her. Right now though, no, she didn't even deserve his attention after everything she had done to hurt him. She knew where he came from, she knew his past. She knew about the abuse, the harsh words and everything else he had put up but she had ended up turning into a bitch just like his mother.[/justify][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
notes: hay, it's cool. you have no idea how many
times i've lost a damn post so i know how it feels.
i apologize in advance if carter gets out of hand. xD [/size][/font][/center] |
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Post by coop on Nov 24, 2009 9:17:30 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ( CARTER. OUTFIT. 1280 WORDS. COMPLETE! ) "CLOSER" LYRICS ARE CREDIT TO NEYO CREDIT OH SO COOPERNATURAL ! @ CAUTION 2.0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Someone had once said that Our worst torments appear when we are closest to our happiness. Abigail believed that nothing than that was more true. Her soul had been through more hardships in her young life, than most people have in a lifetime, if at all. She'd lost her parents to a fire that scarred her brother physically and her baby sister emotionally. She'd taken over their duties, long after their deaths, and even as her aunt and uncle took the three under their wings, she couldn't help but make herself numb. You must understand that she had no choice in the matter. At least, that's what she likes to tell herself. No one else could handle it, and she had to be the strong one. Always the strong one. The girl had convinced herself that it was her place to take responsibility. And a person with that much on their shoulders, left absolutely no room for mistake. Down the line, she'd lost all hope of being young and stupid. Her aunt and uncle had planned her life out from the toothpaste she would use to the college she would go to. Somehow, along the way of fighting for what was right for her siblings, she'd lost the voice for herself and managed to overlook the fact that she had little say in her own life.
It was a disgusting feeling that she remembered her mother using to describe her marriage to her father. While it was certainly true that Abby had loved Carter with every beat of her heart, she just couldn't bear down the thought of turning into nothing when all she really had left was who she was becoming. The girl didn't want to miss her chance at greatness, and yes, he may have stood there by her side and supported her through the entire ordeal, but that wasn't as realistic to her as the fear of losing her future. Even her aunt had told her that if it wasn't for the marriage, that she swears was worth it, she would have been something of an artist. If nothing else, that was enough to tell Abby that things wouldn't work. Not only did she know to expect a great downfall from his proposal, but somehow, she knew that she'd end up losing herself along the way. Consequently, that fear remains to this day. For a single moment, she'd lost her faith in their relationship, and that was from her own misguided truth. She couldn't take all of the blame, though. Whether her guilt made her do so or not, this specific situation was far too complicated when you saw beyond the sugar coated shell the two had painted of blue hues. Carter had claimed that he'd left hint after hint, but while under stress, Abigail was known to overlook such things, especially flowered in subtlety. In all honesty, the two hadn't said a word about wedding bells. I love you, you love me. We're having fun, end of story. Why ruin such a good thing?
Something that she just didn't want to understand.
The entire dramatic show was to equivocal sense. It's said that women are more likely to remember the past with their emotions, while men use the facts that lack emotion. Abby wasn't sure if that were true, or not, but one thing she did know was that she and Carter had been fighting almost nonstop since that day. It was almost as if they couldn't show respect for the other because it was the other who'd done wrong. It didn't matter if she'd been the one that had broken his heart into a million pieces, or if he was asking her to give up who she was or not. The only thing that Abigail could remember was the feeling she had when those words passed through his lips. Devastation and confusion tearing through her body, as she stared into eyes filled with joy, hope and happiness. The brunette had never expected that day would be their last. She'd mistakenly assumed that they'd get through it, and things would go back to normal. How naive of her, but to wish. The only thing they shared now was a past they could never forget, and two seats at a bar with a drink in hand and a bottle that he was sure to need. Alcohol in which, Abigail believed, only brought power to distort your common sense, bend your will and intensify one's personality. Now, in her case, depending on her mood she could be dancing on tables, or expressing her love to tear those down around her. In Carter's case, she assumed that an asshole was still an asshole. Something that he proved true enough, as he pridefully teased of inviting more choice whores to their little pity party at the bar. Did he think he was being funny? Was everything between them going to be shot after shot forever? She dared to split him in half with her words, but instead, she kept her thoughts to herself and leered as her eyes hissed in his general direction. Alright, so she was bitter, so what. When all was said and done, it was still all her fault to the people around her. She couldn't change that, so, why try?
"Sounds like an idea to me." The second turn Bitch interjected. God, he could be so infuriating, sometimes. Abby found that it was hard to grasp the fact that man sitting there next to her was her Carter. Funny Carter who would let her win on the basketball court every Saturday morning, and sit with her for hours, taking up the middle of the day so happy just to be with her. The Carter who tried his best to teach her about football, even though he knew she wouldn't get it. He let her call him Hoffy, for God's sake. She sighed lightly, before grabbing the drink in front of her and pulling it to her lips. Her head turned away from him for the moment. He didn't deserve to know what she was feeling. I suppose, that was just the thing. He wasn't her Carter. Not anymore, at least. In fact, he was nothing like him... he didn't even look like himself anymore. It was hard to believe that these two had been in love, let alone, the closest thing to best friends that they could have been. Then again, you can't really hate someone, until you've truly loved them. And you can only be hurt by those who have enough of your to do so. "Is there something specific that you want?" She fumed. Her eyes boiling up to his own, as her head cocked to show her uninterested. So, maybe uninterested wasn't exactly the correct term. She couldn't help but be interested in anything that Carter had to say, it was just that for the past year, instead of it being accompanied by kind words and a tender heart, it was harsh insults and nothing short of blaming him for the entire male race. "Because, I'm sure there are plenty of spots where you can turn into an alcoholic." bellowed from pink lips. Him just sitting next to her made her angry, somehow. Just the look on his face, and the tone of his voice. She couldn't control that, these days. It'd been so long that they didn't need each other, that those feelings hadn't had time to waste away. She hadn't been given the time to gain proper closure. And while she assumed that Carter may be having the same problem, she wasn't completely sure. Nor, at the moment, did she care.
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i'm still trying to find my own posting style. while i was
pregnant i was mia, and i apologize for being rusty. and
i almost lost my post again, stupid **** **** **** ! ahem.
ending up turning into a... tsk, tsk, meanie carter. : 0
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Post by carter anthony hoffman on Nov 24, 2009 14:28:38 GMT -5
hands like secrets are the hardest thing to [/i][/size][/font][/color] KEEP FROM YOU, LINES AND PHRASES LIKE KNIVES- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
TAG: ABIGAIL . LOCATION: LOTUS NIGHT CLUB
OUTFIT: HERE . WORD COUNT: ONE ZERO FOUR ONE
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/font][/b][/center] You know, Carter always thought that life sucked, that it was meant to be nothing but pain and hardships because that was what he grew up knowing, that was how he was raised but the more he thought about it, the more people tried to persuade him otherwise the more he believed that there was nothing in life apart from pain. You live, you find someone to love, someone to give your entire heart to and they rip it out and break you down the second they get the chance to. He didn't known why he ever had the hope that it could be different, that maybe, just maybe he could have complete happiness, that he could find someone who would push aside everything he ever knew and make him believe in love. It had happened and he had fallen for the entire thing. He had fallen in love and he forgot what it was like to feel that pain. The pain of disappointment, the pain of being unwanted. That had only lasted for awhile though until the girl that he thought he had a forever with broke him down and abandoned him with not so many words. Maybe when she spoke she only wanted time to think, he didn't know but he had left and that was that. There was no second chance given because he began to doubt everything that they had ever went through. Every kind word, every soft touch, every 'I love you'. It was all a lie to him now, nothing but memories of heartache and pain that he refused to go back to.
There were so many memories that Carter wished he could erase from his mind. Memories of him and Abby together, back when they were happy. The little dates they would go on, the walks around town, the endless hours spent cooped up in one of their places just talking and joking around. Even the frustration he remembered whenever he tried to teach her about football and she forgot the words almost as soon as he would let them slip from his mouth. It was something he found both infuriating and interesting because even though they both knew she'd never fully understand it they would go through it over and over again. It was back when Carter was happy, when they were happy together and being with one another was all they needed to get through the day. Those memories were ones that haunted him because he knew that he had changed for the worse. He knew that he was now some sort of insensitive bastard who didn't even deserve to have Rae like him. It was something that he needed to change. He needed to go back to how he used to be, back when he was a nicer, more gentler guy, back to when he spoke kind words to Abby and didn't find any joy in sleeping around. He doubted that Carter would ever come back though. He strayed too far from who he used to be to fix it, or at least that was what he told himself. This was who he was now because of what she did to him, because of what happened so if anyone were to blame it was Abby he was sure of it.
The one girl that Carter spent most of his time trying to avoid was now sitting beside him and even though he knew that it would be better for him to just get up and leave he couldn't. There was still something about her that kept him there. Maybe he was hoping for some sort of apology or an explanation of why she said no, maybe it was because he wanted to see her in this state because he knew that once one got drunk their true emotions came out. Carter wanted to see her cry, he wanted to hear her say that she missed him and she had made a mistake but it was all wishful thinking. She didn't want him then, she didn't want him now. Maybe she didn't even want him when they were dating. He didn't know anymore. Carter was at the point where he was doubting everything that he once believed. Why should he even try to believe any of it when he was sure it was all going to end the same way? History repeats itself all the time, doesn't it? It always has and it probably always would. One person gets hurt, which then results in another getting hurt and no matter how many times you try to get away from the pain and the suffering that you try to mask it always comes back around to bite you in the ass.
Carter's gaze never wavered from the bottle of tequila that was sitting in front of him. As much as he'd hate to admit it that bottle had become one of his best friends over the course of the year since the break-up. He found it was easier to run away from his problems then to face them head on. not that if he tried to go and patch them up that it'd work anyway seeing how the only words shared between the two of them were full of bitterness and hate. "Some sort of explanation would be marvelous.
[/color]" He spat out in a gruff voice as he poured himself a bit more alcohol. " But wait, I forgot, you don't do explanations because you expect everyone to read your fucking mind to know what it is that you want.[/color]" That was probably what pissed carter off more than anything else. He thought that he knew that she wanted so he had done it and then she didn't want it. Hell, she never did tell him what she wanted after that entire ordeal and it was something that still set him on edge. Carter let her alcoholic comment slip by, he wasn't going to even try to say anything to it. " Is this what it's come down to? You spend two years with someone then suddenly it's nothing but hate. Maybe they should add this into all the chick flicks you watch. Give people a view on what really happens after 'and they lived happily ever after'.[/color]"[/justify][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
notes: he's angry at her but at least he's
trying to be somewhat civil? haha. your
posts are fine, love <33 [/size][/font][/center] |
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Post by coop on Nov 25, 2009 14:33:34 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ( CARTER. OUTFIT. 1270 WORDS. COMPLETE! ) "CLOSER" LYRICS ARE CREDIT TO NEYO CREDIT OH SO COOPERNATURAL ! @ CAUTION 2.0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Abigail felt herself fall pale to the force of his bluntness. Though she should have expected something like this from him, it caught her completely off guard. How dare he ask her that? This wasn't the place, and about a year too late out of time. His words were bitter. Full of hatred and it hurt her heart, as she sat there. Regardless, the emotion that bay upon her face showed that of sheer disbelief. Her eyes glaring at him in question; had he really been that drunk? Feeling a bit battered, Abigail scoffed to herself, while he continued on, calling on her bits of spoiled expectancy. She'd always hated it when he cursed toward her. Especially in anger, and even now when things were at their worst, it isn't what she wanted of him. "Yeah, Carter..." She'd started. Her hand weaving over to that bottle in front of him, moving it toward the bunk of the bar. It wasn't where he couldn't reach it if he had to, but just enough to let him know she didn't approve. Not that it mattered. Honestly, it probably was a mistake to even touch it, because somehow that meant she cared whether he did this to himself or not, and that could be used against her. And these days, she wasn't sure if a drunken Carter would lash out or not, though that didn't seem to cross her mind for more than a second. "Yeash, you're awfully whiny." She continued, overlooking the fact that she didn't exactly finish her previous opening statement. She didn't feel the need to. After two years of being with someone, it's not that hard to tell what their reactions are going to be. Abigail wasn't the type who liked to be surprised, it made her feel like she didn't have control. It made her feel uneasy. So, yeah, she expected him to know why she'd turned him away, and he probably knew that. Selfish or not, that's how it was.
Things hadn't always been so confusing between the pair. Back in the day, they could practically read each other's minds. They spent hours talking about nothing, and enjoying every minute of it. Got to the point where they were fallowing in suit to the most annoying things happy couples do, like finishing each other's sentences. Abigail remembered a relationship in which they'd need only look at one another, and smile because if words were needed, they knew exactly what they would say. Back when things were still calm. He knew how she liked her coffee, and her favorite color. How she liked to dance to a certain song no matter how many times it played in a row, and how happy it made her when he'd eat her disgusting food, and lie through his teeth to make her feel better about it, even when she knew the truth. There was a time when they would just cuddle, wrapped up in each other. His head lay against her stomach as they lay on the chair in his living room, listening to every single word the other had to say, and it was never dull. There was a gracefulness between them, and it felt as if anything could be worked out. And that's something that she'd originally believed, when she found herself engulfed in his personality, and gently stroking his hair, as if they hadn't a care in the world. The girl had never expected that she'd find her Prince Charming, because it wasn't part of the plan made for her life. When it happened, she thought it was too good to be true, so she tried her best to keep things light, so she wouldn't be hurt or trapped. Something that didn't last long at all, but with a sudden question, jolted her into fear, and she'd felt she'd been betrayed.
Most girls dream of that day, ya know. The white gown, the beautiful bridesmaid dresses, and flowers galore. To have a loved one give her away, in a sense, to a man who loves her with all of his heart and would give her anything if she just said two little words. Even a proposal, in romance and bliss, as he falls down on one knee and offers his life to you if you just offer yourself to him in return. Somehow, when it happened to Abigail, all she saw was destruction. She couldn't imagine losing her love for Carter the way her parents and aunt and uncle had lost for each other. And she'd lied to herself, and to him when she'd said she expected them to get over it. She'd known all along that once he walked through that door, it would be over, but she didn't want to admit that, because, that meant she'd lost control. Pride is a funny thing, fear is in absence of dreams, and life is what happens around you, when you're busy making other plans. She knew that now, but it was far too late. As the two sat there, she could tell that it wouldn't be so easy, this time. There was still so much hate, and disrespect between the two, that they'd be angry for a lifetime. Her aunt had called her crazy, when she first told her of the situation. She swore she hadn't meant to sway her, because she really thought Carter would have made Abigail happy. She could still remember her uncle's voice in the background, telling her that she was better off, and that her aunt was full of it, because of those romance novels she loved so much. Abigail didn't know what to believe, all she knew is that she felt like hell, and instead of following her aunt's advice to fix things, she'd found herself listening to harsh words of the stronger voice in the room.
There was always a damsel that needed to be saved, but for this one, it was she who needed to do the saving. Abigail watched him, as he continued to wine, and though she'd felt faint of heart, didn't show. Instead, that hard shell that she'd acquired over the years, grew cold, while he tore her world down. She couldn't believe that he could just sit there and go on and on about how he'd been done wrong. He'd sure as hell made up for it, this past year, by starting arguments when none were needed, and then blaming her for their fighting when she was just defending herself. He'd even gone to the point to ask people not to listen when she told them to distrust him, as if she ever could say that. The dropout wasn't without her own faults, though. She did feel affronted toward him and it made her all the more bitter, so she too would fight for amusement. "God, ya know, you are such a hypocrite." She growled, turning on her seat to face him. Her eyes full of anger and destruction, that she needed to tone down or she just might burst. That was one thing about Abigail; dancing on tables was for a happy girl, who needed to get some fun out, but when she was angry, it just made things seem so much more intense than they were. "Sit there and pretend that you're some helpless victim, and I'm an evil she-bitch who thought it'd be fun to fuck up your world. I didn't want things to be this way, but it's the way it is. Don't forget who threw the first stone." fled those pink lips. She was really getting sick of playing games with grown adults.
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ohemgee, had to go back and spellcheck. : )
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Post by carter anthony hoffman on Nov 29, 2009 0:15:42 GMT -5
hands like secrets are the hardest thing to [/i][/size][/font][/color] KEEP FROM YOU, LINES AND PHRASES LIKE KNIVES- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
TAG: ABIGAIL . LOCATION: LOTUS NIGHT CLUB
OUTFIT: HERE . WORD COUNT: ONE ONE ZERO NINE
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/font][/b][/center] Carter didn't hate Abigail. In fact how he felt for her was far from hatred, try the opposite end of the spectrum. Yes, Carter Hoffman was still in love with Abigail. Would he ever admit it? Not in a million years. She had hurt him by declining his proposal and by not giving him an explanation. He had given her everything. His heart, his soul, his emotions. Everything. He had told her things that no one else knew about him, things that no one apart from his brother knew about the home he grew up in, about the way his mother treated him, about how he was abused, how his father had walked out on them. She knew his fears and she knew about his dream to one day open up a place for teenagers and kids to go where they could learn to play sports free of charge, where they could meet other people their own age, where they could get away from a hectic home life, away from the abuse and the torment that their parents brought down on them. She knew that's where his heart was, with the kids who were suffering through the same things he had dealt with. She had been there when he had to go back home to visit his mother, she had heard the way she degraded him. This girl sitting beside him knew everything there was to know about NFL quarterback legend Carter Hoffman because he loved her and he never thought she would leave him but apparently that was wrong.
Carter's eyes moved from the glass he was holding between his hands to the bottle in front of him when he saw a hand reach for it. The young man would have spoken up if it was the bartender but he knew it wasn't. That hand belonged to Abby and he watched as she pushed it away from him, further back and he knew what her silent request was. She never had been a big fan of him drinking lots, just like he hadn't liked her doing it. While here would be a good place for him to throw some sort of comment out there he said nothing, instead his face scrunched together in thought, his eyebrows furrowing and his eyes softening for a brief moment. Carter knew Abby and he knew that she wouldn't have done that unless part of her still cared for his well-being. He wasn't sure how much of her still cared but even if she didn't realize it what she had just done gave him a tiny bit of hope, it was a ray of sunshine to show that maybe she wasn't a heartless bitch. "I just want the truth, Abbs.
[/color]" He spoke quietly, choosing his words carefully this time around. Carter knew that she hated it when he cursed at her or raised his voice and right now he wasn't trying to get her angry, he was trying to figure out happenings of the past that haunted his every thought day in and day out. Both parties had been hurt in what happened but neither of the two would admit that. They spent all their time bickering and arguing over whose fault it was when in reality it was both of theirs. Carter knew that he should have went back and tried to win her over but he hadn't and that was something that he knew he would forever regret. He should have been more obvious with the hints he had thrown his way and he should have controlled his temper after the whole thing went down. There were so many things that he should have done, so many things that he could have done but he hadn't and those were the thoughts that hurt the most. There was one thought that shone above them all though, one that he knew would forever haunt him. Abby. Just thinking about her was hard enough but knowing that he probably lost her chance with her for good was something that hurt him more than anything else. Every time they fought he could see the pain in her eyes even though she tried her best to hide it. Those thoughts were ones that hurt the most, knowing that he was always the one to cause the woman he loved the most pain and they were all things that he wished he could take back. No one was perfect and while that may be true Carter always wished it wasn't. He needed Abigail back in his life, he wanted her back as his girlfriend but times change, people change and things are never the same. This was one of those things. When they were dating the pair weren't ones to fight constantly. They were the ones who easily settled their differences and then moved on with their life but since the break-up more arguments had been started, the blame game was being played and the two of them were always at each other's throats. It was a never ending cycle with the two of them and Carter found that it was easier to put all the blame on her instead of accepting the fact that he had fucked up too even though he knew he had. Her words rang in his ears and as he heard the bar stool squeak as she turned to face him his blue eyes lifted upward and over so that he was looking at her. The gaze that she sent in his direction was harsh, bitter and cold, nothing like the Abigail that he once knew. There was no kindness, love or tenderness behind them, no playful or joking nature. They were just full of bitterness and that stung him right in the heart. " Last I checked you do the same thing when the tables are reserved. Act like I'm some asshole who doesn't deserve the time of day from anyone.[/color]" His voice raised slightly but he kept it at a steady tone, not wanting to start a fight with her although he knew that was inevitable. " I asked you to marry me, Abigail. I wanted to spend my life with you, I took the first step in trying to start a future with you, to keep you in my life then you told me to leave so I did.[/color]" Carter paused and brought his hand up to the side of his face and massaged his temple before letting go of his glass that was in the other hand and he brought that one up to the other side of his face. " I thought when you said 'leave' you meant for good.[/color]" He practically whispered.[/justify][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
notes: eleven eleven: make a wish! [/size][/font][/center] |
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Post by coop on Dec 1, 2009 9:44:06 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ( CARTER. OUTFIT. 1190 WORDS. COMPLETE! ) "CLOSER" LYRICS ARE CREDIT TO NEYO CREDIT OH SO COOPERNATURAL ! @ CAUTION 2.0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Abigail could feel her skin tightening, as the sense of uncomfortability set in. When the two were together, she'd never felt this way, but ever since the split, this feeling had his name written all over it. She just chalked it down to being something normal after a breakup. It had to be, right? The way things ended left a bitter taste in her mouth, and seeing this new person everyday walking around in a body that wasn't his, she just... she felt disappointed. He was a stranger, it seemed. Sure, you could sit him down and give him a few drinks and he might slighty touch who was remembered just in passion alone, but the way he looked at her made her stomach turn. It frightened her that she was once madly, unconditionally and, to Abby, undenyably in love with this man, and now she didn't even know who he was. Every single thing that came out of his mouth was meant to hurt her, be it by insult or guilt. Abigail was known for her strengths. She could say what needed to be said, even if she was getting torn down in the process, but what they forget to tell you is that those people cry themselves to sleep. People like Abby. They have to be so strong and keep up the image, otherwise all hell breaks loose. In this girl's world, that just wouldn't do. No matter what they say, chaos is never orgainized, and clutter is uncontrolable. It only took one mistake to make people realize that you're no better than they are. To make them realize that you have feelings, and do feel pain. After that, they treat you as if you're requesting a pitty party. People who hate you, are suddenly sorry; sorry you lost your family, sorry you and carter didn't make it, sorry your life's going to hell. Abigail made that mistake once before, and she sure as hell wasn't bound to do it again.
It was hard to think about the good times, when you were angry. It's like, every single thing that once made you smile, was locked away by the rising heat from your heart and there wasn't anything anyone could do or say to fix it. And even if they could, you'd get mad because they interfiered. You weren't going to win, so why were you trying? Abby had asked herself that question countless times, and always came up with the same answer. She was going to win. She was Abigail O'Connor, and there was no time for losing when you don't have room for mistake. It was like ripples on water, once it started you couldn't stop it. One touch changed everything, by making itself bigger and bigger until your little butterfly flutter caused a huricane or problems. Except, they wouldn't be felt by someone else. It'd always be your problem to take care of. Just like now, with Hoffy. Carter. She'd become a relationship matron, in some sense of the word; always looked, but never touched. married to her work and nothing else was important. If the two weren't going to be civil to each other, she'd made it her goal to be the best at being the worst, even though it was going to have a negative effect on everything around her.
It didn't make sense, anymore. They were fighting constantly and it was like she was trying to hold on to any piece of him, even while he was breaking her heart. Abigail sat there feeling foolish, while the man next to her seemed to fall to pieces. Still, she couldn't help but wonder how he didn't know what she'd meant. They had been together for so long, was she really that terrible where he'd believe she'd want to throw it all away? She knew she could be a bitch, she knew that, but not to Carter. Not then. Her focussed confussion seemed to be just that, while she tried to remember if she'd ever been this way when they were in love. IT had been so long that she just couldn't tell anymore. New memories seemed to blur into the old ones, but it always ended up the same. Her feeling sorry for herself. Maybe it wasn't her fault at all, I mean, he was the one who walked out. Abigail's mind fixated on the fact that if he really wanted to be with her, he wouldn't have taken no for an answer, let alone, not have faught for her. Her stomach suddenly filled with bricks, and her chest, a mixture of sadness and anger. Not just angry at him for letting her go so quickly, but at herself as well. How could she have turned him away like that? Just, up and said no. Abigail's clicked, as she thought about it. Not even a No, she remembered. Get out.
Her finger swiped the top of her nose as she took a deep breath in. A breath she masked, by clearing her throat as she raised her legs to cross. "Yeah, you did." she bitterly replied. "Not even a second thought, just walked right out that door." she continued, her voice now moping, as hazel eyes stared him down, just waiting for an answer. Maybe he knew that she'd turn him down, and he figured that was his way out of a relationship that just wasn't fun for him anymore. He had to have been bored, hell, they were dating for two years, and still loved each other. Abby hadn't had that before. Most of her relationships ended in pain, be it physical or emotional. Carter had been the very first guy she'd ever trusted with everything she had, and now that was all gone. All but harsh exchanges, and memories of something amazing lost in pride. I thought when you said leave, you meant for good, escaped from his lips. And though it was barely above a whisper, it had almost held her down and screamed at her. Abigail's heart sank, while those same hazel eyes quickly peered down to the bartop. This was the guilt part. The part in the story where he bares his soul, and she's left to pick up the pieces with a withering look of shame painted over her face, because that means it really is her fault. "Don't..." Was all that left her lips, and she felt as if she could cry, but she wouldn't. She'd taken the time to sit there and convince herself, that the past was the past, and why the hell wouldn't she? It wasn't like the two were fixing things, they were both still too sober for that. "How can you even say that to me?" Her attention turned back to him. She'd meant her words to be hard, but they ended up coming out a bit too gental for her taste. Abigial lowered her voice as well, while her finger gestured the volume that was missing. "When did I Ever, with exception of that single moment, ever behave as if I didn't want this?" She'd stopped herself. "It. Want It."
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stupid middle. won't be doing that again. : )
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Post by carter anthony hoffman on Dec 1, 2009 17:10:45 GMT -5
hands like secrets are the hardest thing to [/i][/size][/font][/color] KEEP FROM YOU, LINES AND PHRASES LIKE KNIVES- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
TAG: ABIGAIL . LOCATION: LOTUS NIGHT CLUB
OUTFIT: HERE . WORD COUNT: ONE ZERO FIVE FIVE
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/font][/b][/center] It was amazing how someone could go from being your everything to someone you couldn't even stand being in the same room with. How with one wrong course of action that your entire world could be flipped upside down and inside out. How two people who were so perfect for each other and so in love could end up treating one another like Carter and Abby treated each other. It was sad and confusing that much was for sure. Both had suffered and both had been hurt, now they were both acting as if how they cared for one another, how they felt never even mattered. Carter was bitter and he was ashamed, he was hurt and he felt like he had been used even though he knew that had not been the case. What him and Abby shared for one another had been real, it had been something that Carter could have only wished he could have had. She was probably the best thing that had ever happened to him, she had become the girl that he knew he wanted to marry and start a family with even if he wasn't ready for a family quite yet. They had been all positive thoughts about their future together or what could have been their future together. Now Carter just wasn't sure what was going to happen and he was completely unsure with just about everything that he had ever looked forward to.
Since the breakup Carter's view on relationships and love in general completely changed for the worst. He didn't see the point of them any longer, he didn't see how people could treat each other like they had and he had honestly no clue how people could believe that love could get them through everything when obviously it didn't. At one point in time he had been naive enough to believe that he would one day find a girl who would stand by his side through everything, that no matter what they'd always have each other. At one point in time Carter that was true but then all hell had broken lose and how he wasn't sure what was true and what was fault. As much as he didn't want to believe his mother he was really starting to believe that she had been right in her thinking. Now he just went and had his fun with girls, nothing wrong with a quick fuck here or there, nothing wrong with leading girls on, getting in their pants and then leaving. That's how Carter's mind worked right now and he didn't really care. He had tried the whole relationship thing and it had screwed with his head big time, he had been hurt and it wasn't an experience he wanted to relive anytime soon. He only hoped that what Rae and him had would not end the same way.
Everything that he had once loved and known was buried away. It was all like a an old photograph that was wrinkled, stained and ripped here and there. Carter had never felt so torn up and broken about something before in his life, or at least he thought he hadn't until all of this happened and he was now left to pick up the pieces of his broken self. He would be lying to himself if he said that he didn't still love her, if he said that he didn't want to eventually fix things. Right now though everything was clouded over with bitterness and resentment. She had told him to get out so he had. She had said said that she hadn't wanted to marry him and Carter had taken that as she didn't want to be with him any longer. Instead of standing there and trying to fight for her he ran though. Running was something he did whenever things got tough and confusing. As soon as he was sixteen he had ran from his abusive mother, when he had gotten into that accident that nearly claimed his life he had run, afraid to be told he might never play pro-football again and then when Abigail had turned him down he ran, afraid to have his heart ripped out by the girl he loved. Apparently he needed to learn how to man up and accept the fact that not everything was perfect and sometimes he had to stay and fight for things he really wanted. Carter knew that now, he only wished had known about that a year previously.
"Do you think I don't wish I had stayed and tried to fight for you? Do you think that I'm proud of what I did?
[/color]" He asked her, anger obvious in his voice for the mere fact that she thought he hadn't wanted to fight for her, that he didn't want to be with her. Carter didn't want to leave but his natural instincts for running kicked in and he had. Looking back at that day now he wished he had done things differently but he hadn't. There was no going back to change that though, he was where he was now because of that. He had hurt her, he had left and he hadn't stayed to fight for the girl he wanted. Carter's gaze locked on the now empty glass in front of him, his finger tracing over the rim and his mind debating whether or not to go for another drink. He could really use one right now but he refrained himself for the moment. Abigail's words shot through him and he let out a low groan that he was sure she heard. " That moment was all I needed to realize that you didn't feel the same way for me that I felt for you.[/color]" Came his words, surprisingly still at a normal tone but laced in them was obvious hurt. His willpower had shut down by now and he finally did reach for the bottle of liquor in front of him and pulled it toward him, pouring some into his glass before placing it back down on the counter. Bringing the glass up to his lips to took a drink from it before letting out a small sigh. " I love you, Abby, I always have and I probably always will but did you feel the same way or was it just some game to you?[/color]"[/justify][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
notes: aha, -pets- it happens to the best of us. [/size][/font][/center] |
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Post by coop on Dec 3, 2009 21:30:22 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ( CARTER. OUTFIT. 1041 WORDS. COMPLETE! ) "CLOSER" LYRICS ARE CREDIT TO NEYO CREDIT OH SO COOPERNATURAL ! @ CAUTION 2.0 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Everyone deals with matters of the heart differently. Some put in their all and other's refused to put themselves out there at all. Since the breakup, Carter had changed. He'd turned into a cliche, rich boy gone bad, because the real Carter had died of a broke heart. He'd found that drowning his sorrows in sex and alcohol had been the way to go, and so far, from Abigail's point of view, he was having fun. Abby had been handling it quite differently, though. This normally Social Butterfly, tucked her wings away, and found that she'd been keeping herself from the real world more and more. Cutting people out of her life, and hiding away under her designs, sharp wit and a spiteful attitude for anyone who tried to make her feel better. She'd managed to turn on her friends and family, and wound up in the beds of men she hated and barely knew. The questions were avoided, but the insults were tiled on top of each other, until she just couldn't control them anymore. To make matters worse, while she scolded her baby sister and former lover for being irresponsible with their liquor, she had been doing the same. Pushing back vodka like water, finding out that the taste ran numb after a certain amount. She never wanted to be this way. She was turning into the very people that she'd ruined her relationship trying to run away from, and she knew it. The more she saw it, the more she would drown it, and the more she would drown it the harder it became to stop.
It could have been different. She'd seen it in her head many times; different ways that she could have handled things. The brunette could have smiled and told him calmly that she wasn't ready. She could have offered a pre engaged relationship, just so she would have time to define who she was before adding on something more. They could have discussed why she was afraid, and decided to wait. She could have just said yes. Abigail laid awake at night sometimes, just thinking about different ways she could have done things, but it all ended in the fear of two things. Neither of which would ever allow her to be happy. At first she'd go out and look for guys that were the complete opposite of Carter. Ones that only wanted her to use her, slam her around and make her happy for at least one night. That was how she met James, and for a while, things went from trying to get her mind off from Carter, to having a little fun in the process. Then after things started to get sour between she and her ex love, she'd started looking for the type of guy he used to be. The caring, strong and funny type. Well, that led her to Kaden, and ever since then things just haven't been going great. She blamed him, of course. It had to be an Innocent's fault, that her entire world was falling apart. It didn't seem to matter, though. Kaden tended to her just as she had him, and that was why the two couldn't stand each other. It didn't even take a week for her to make friends with her neighbor, but after a night of fighting with Carter, the sex with anyone just wasn't cutting it anymore. That's when she pushed away her fears of becoming her father, and against her own knowledge of what she saw every night at lotus, picked up that drink.
"You seriously want me to answer that, truthfully, Carter?" Her words burning into him, with every hardship in mind. She really didn't care if she was hurting his feelings or not, at this point. He hadn't been there to care for hers. She'd spent so many nights just trying to figure out what she had done wrong. How awful she must have been to him during their entire relationship, for him to not tell her no, immediately after she had told him to leave. He didn't want to stay with her. Didn't want to fight for her. Hell, he didn't want anything that involved her in it, so instead of making things better, he'd gone out and ruined any chance that they'd had left, by sticking his dick wherever he could get it. She felt so disgusting just thinking about it. Watching as the man who had shared her bed for years, wrapped his arm around another woman's waist and left to go do the unmentionable. And it wasn't even as if she could wish him worse on that, because hating him didn't make him bad in bed. Maybe that was it; she was the one who wasn't good in bed. It had to be something, right? Abigail continued to look at him with questioning eyes that only reigned sarcasm.
"It was a game, Carter." She'd said hastily, removing her finger from the ring of her glass, and grabbing her bag. The brunette peered to the wall, her eyes screaming her frustrations, before finally letting it fall into the pit of her stomach. "It was all one big fucking game." Abigail continued, before placing her glass back on the napkin it had made it's home, and standing to her feet. Her voice not much less hurt than his own, but she desperately need a clean getaway. Maybe he could throw around his words like that, and expect them to just float away in the air, but after what the two had been through, there was no way it could be done on her end. The fact that he was extending an olive branch her way, didn't cross her mind. The only thing she could think about was, she didn't want to be here. Not now, not doing this, and certainly not with him. She didn't want to have a heart to heart, didn't want things to be all better again. It was easier to be angry at him, easier to hate him for all of this, and in that sense her only emotion at the moment was denial. All she wanted to do is take a page from the book of Carter Hoffman, and run.
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ahem.
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