( GIVE ME YOUR HAND )

[malika]

cause i don't want to know
IF I KISSED YOUR LIPS FOR THE LAST TIME, PLEASE DON'T SAY



KYLE MCKENZIE , 696 WORDS , CLOTHING , COMPLETE

frustration coursed through her as she thought about Kyle and his attitude to all of this. Malika was absolutely sick of his attitude. She needed him to be around. She needed the support her her baby's father. She could have gotten the support somewhere else. Alex was more than willing to play the father figure, but that wasn't fair to him. Kyle should step up and be a man and the fact that he wasn't made her blood boil. That was why she had ventured to his dorm room on the Yale campus. She needed to talk to him about this. Face-to-face, he would see how serious she was about all of this. It should have quite an impact on him as she was never serious. Every conversation they'd ever had was a huge joke. There were plenty of laughs, plenty of inside jokes. Nothing with them had ever been serious. Even their relationship was a joke. They didn't commit to each other in the least bit. Really, they were about companionship more than anything. This pregnancy was the first thing serious that had occurred and Malika was tired of waiting for Kyle to man up about it. She was pregnant with his child. She knew this. There was no doubt in her mind who the father was. Someone with her reputation shouldn't be so sure, but she was.

walking across the Yale campus to the dorms reminded her what she had given up. It hurt her to see first hand what she had given up. No, she had not been accepted to Yale. Malika was nowhere near that intelligent. However, she had been accepted to NYU. It had been a dream come true. All her life, she had dreamed of getting out of New Haven. College was a chance to do that. She had felt bad about leaving Alex to care for Brooke alone, but she had needed to do that for her. She had spent a long time making sacrifices for Brooke. She didn't have a problem doing it, but she had. Now, she just wanted one thing to herself. Of course, she had planned to go home as often as she could. However, she had been there a month before finding out she was pregnant. She dropped out. There was no way she could take care of a new born and keeping up with college. Then there was the added complication of letting Kyle know. She hadn't expected it to be this hard. She had thought that he would believe her. Things had never been serious, but she had never done anything to lead him to believe she would lie about it. With great effort, she blocked those thoughts from her mind. They weren't important right now.

she marched through the hallways with a purpose looking for his dorm. She knew which one it was as she had come to it to tell him she was pregnant. Upon reaching the door, she raised her hand to knock. It was then that she hesitated. What if he turned her away? What if he wouldn't listen? Malika had to have his support, for their child's sake, not hers. She could live if he chose not to speak to her again after this encounter, but she could not sit by and watch him deny his own baby. She took a deep breath and lowered her arm. It wasn't often that her courage wavered, but it was now. She was scared. With another deep breath, she raised her fist and knocked loudly. It was the moment of truth. She waited a little bit, the moments seemed to take an eternity. Her patience faltered and she called out to him. "Kyle! It's me, Mal! We need to talk! Let me in, please?" She wasn't planning on taking up much of his time. She just wanted him to hear her out, see for himself what she was saying and have him know that she wasn't lying. She may have been a cruel, heartless bitch sometimes, but she wasn't that bad. She would not lead someone with a future to think that she was carrying his baby when it really wasn't his.

[kyle]

*/ you don't know what it's like
( tagging: malika harper location: davenport

[/color] appearance: outfit )[/size][/font][/center]

Nothing could compare to how irresponsible Kyle was being lately, especially since finding out that he’d got his “girlfriend” pregnant. It sort of dawned on him just how much he feared commitment and that he truly did only see the whole situation as nothing more than a joke. He knew his actions and attitude towards Malika and the whole situation was becoming a frustration on her part but he couldn’t deal with it. He wasn’t the sort of guy to be satisfied in a relationship. He wanted so much more than that and he didn’t want to be a dad. Not now and probably not ever. Kyle hadn’t really spoke to her since being told or if they did speak, they fought or insulted each other or he’d just imply that he would rather be out fucking some other girl than being with her. He was a player and she knew that before they even decided on “dating” if that was what you would call their relationship. It had been a joke from the beginning to both of them and she had no trouble talking about the guys she had been with, Alex in particular and of course, he had no issues with boasting about who he’d fucked or whatever else. Kyle honestly didn’t care much about anything and even whether he hurt someone or not. He had the biggest intentions to get out of New Haven as soon as he was out of college and what was better than making a scene before he actually left?

The evening before he had found himself yet again out at the local club with his best friend, Zackary. They had a habit of partying ‘til late and grabbing the attention of many girls. He, of course, had again ended up sleeping with a girl and he had left her apartment before she woke the next day. He found himself back in his dorm at college, a head thumping so hard and a horrible sickly feeling flowing through him. Kyle had another typical hangover but he was barely complaining as usual. He sobered himself up a little when he arrived back to his dorm and then he grabbed a quick shower before relaxing on his bed, watching some boring tv show and eating whatever he could find in his cupboards. He barely considered the fact that Malika might turn up and want to talk to him especially after their last conversation that left it a lot more tense than usual between them. Kyle spent the next hour or so laying on his bed attempting to recover from a hangover while pigging out on whatever food he had left. He had no intentions of heading out for the rest of the day and then he’d probably go hang out somewhere other than the club for once. He tried not to think about how much shit he was in and how he constantly felt like Malika was trying to trap him with saying the baby was his. He believed it was someone else’s and most likely that person was Alex for the fact she was always sleeping with him.

Kyle had no idea what to do exactly. He was being a coward and he was scared to commit to Malika and the kid. He was someone who just didn’t go well with relationships and he wasn’t going to put himself through getting over his fear only to end up hurt. Kyle didn’t care about the child Malika was claiming to be his and he wanted nothing to do with it. He wanted her to have an abortion and he would keep telling her it was a good idea until she did it. He didn’t even really consider supporting her. Or he cared about was getting rid of the kid and pretending it never existed and that none of this shit had happened. His attention was dragged from his thoughts when there was a knock on his door and to his utter surprise, the voice on the other side was none other than the girl in question. He shook his head and stood up, wandering over to the door to open it for her and he just sort of opened it and walked from it. ”I don’t really see what there is to talk about, Mal. But whatever. Get it over with.”

[/color] He told her as she proceeded to lay on his bed, reading a magazine rather than watching the tv or even making eye contact with his “girlfriend”.[/size][/font][/blockquote]

( notes: finally done. )

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[malika]

cause i don't want to know
IF I KISSED YOUR LIPS FOR THE LAST TIME, PLEASE DON'T SAY



KYLE MCKENZIE , 781 WORDS , CLOTHING , COMPLETE

upon hearing her voice, she expected him to ignore her. However, she was in for a pleasant surprise when he opened the door and moved back to the bed. Rude, much. Malika simply rolled her eyes and entered his dorm room, closing the door behind her. She didn't bother trying to make herself comfortable. She stood where she was. Seeing him there, acting like this was not important. She may have made a lot of mistakes, but she was not going to let him ignoring their baby be another one. It made her very angry to see him acting like this meant nothing. It was life changing and the decision that he made would effect not only his life, but her's and their child's. She desperately wished that he would take this seriously, like she was. Mal was even less responsible than Kyle was. If she could see the seriousness of this situation and act like an adult, she didn't see why he couldn't even. She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him. It had no effect as he hadn't even bothered to look at her. This angered her further. "Look at me!" Her tone was harsh and demanding. It was almost a dare for him to disobery to see what she would do. Mal wasn't sure herself, but it was guaranteed that it wouldn't be something pleasant.

with a sigh, she moved further into the room and dumped her bag at her feet as she sat down on the corner of his bed. "You can't keep ignoring this. Ignoring me." She wanted him to think about it. What good was it going to do for him to ignore the problem. It was not going to go away. She knew that was what he wanted. He had wanted to pay to make the problem go away. Malika wasn't willing to do that. If she hadn't gotten an abortion at fourteen, why would she get one now. She was older now, she knew what being a mother was about and she could handle it. She had done her best with Brooke. Contrary to what many believed, she was not an awful parent. She knew what her daughter liked and didn't like, she knew how to talk to her and she knew exactly how to comfort her. She didn't drink in front of Brooke, when she was going out, she rarely returned home if she wasn't in a decent state. She could handle this baby too. Of course, things may become more difficult if she did not stop drinking. She was just so stressed out. She needed some kind of relief. It was Kyle causing all the unnecessary stress which wasn't good for her or the baby. "I know you're scared, okay? I know, I'm scared too. But you can't ignore this. I'm having this baby and I need your help." She was looking Kyle in the face, whether or not he was looking at her. She needed him to hear this, even though she had told him multiple times. She just wanted him to actually accept the message this time.

hair covered her face as she bowed her head, removing her gaze from Kyle. She was confused. It would be so much easier if she were pregnant with Alex's child once more. Alex would not give her this grief. He would accept what she was saying and be a man and own up to his responsibilities. This was already a difficult situation and Kyle was not helping to make it easier. At times, Malika was tempted to just have the damn abortion to keep everyone happy. She wouldn't be happy with herself and she knew Alex would be disappointed, but all this drama would end. "Don't you care?" She looked up at him once more, pushing her hair from her face. "Don't you care that it's your child? Could you really just push it away that easily?" She could sense the usual argument about the identity of the father of her unborn child. It was Kyle. She knew it without a doubt. She may have slept around, but she was safe most of the time. That had been the one time she had gone without a condom. She knew that for a fact. She kept track of when she had sex in case things like this happened. It had been a mistake, but it was too late to go back now. She just wanted the support of someone close to her. "Don't you care about helping me?" It was a question she had never asked him. Part of her had always been scared of the answer, but she needed to know now.

[kyle]

*/ you don't know what it's like
( tagging: malika harper location: davenport

[/color] appearance: outfit )[/size][/font][/center]

Kyle failed to see the seriousness of the situation. He’d told Malika exactly what he wanted but she was having none of it and therefore he saw no reason to be responsible in any way. He didn’t look at her when she entered his dorm and he basically lay there on his bed, focusing his attention on one of his magazines that he had purchased recently. He honestly felt like telling her he had better things to do because he knew exactly why she had come to talk to him but he didn’t bother speaking. Kyle wasn’t sure why she was trying to get him to take the pregnancy seriously. To him it truly meant nothing and he didn’t want to be a dad. He wasn’t ready to make that sort of a life changing decision and though it was partly his fault it had happened, he wasn’t going to admit to that. He hadn’t wanted any of this to happen and it was definitely frustrating. He barely considered what this was doing to Mal for the fact that everything with them had always been a joke. Something that was pointless and just generally a laugh. He momentarily raised his glance but not to look at her and instead he stared out the window. He didn’t want to be a mature adult. He’d already wasted his life away doing fuck all in New Haven and he wanted to do something outrageous. Her harsh and demanding tone made him look at her and he smirked a little, ”Alright, love, no need to be like that. Didn’t realise being pregnant could make you that hormonal.”

[/color] He teased, closing the magazing in his hand and shoving it aside while he looked straight at her.

He watched her, raising his eyebrow when she sat on the corner of his bed and he did not move. At her words, he shrugged and simply pushed it off his shoulders like it was a bit of dust. ”I’ve told you already, I don’t want the baby. So as far as I’m concerned, I can ignore it.”[/color] In his own opinion, neither of them were even fit enough to be parents. They spent a majority of their time out drinking and fucking whoever crossed their path and even he had trouble with Brooke. He didn’t want to accept any of this for the fact he didn’t want it controlling his life and for his life to be over because of it. Brushing it off his shoulder was the way he was dealing with it. If he didn’t take any interest into it or put any of his attention on it, he would quite happily be able to get on with his life. Mal wouldn’t let it go though. She wanted him to act like an adult and stop being a coward. It was true that it would be so much easier if he could deal with commitment and was actually ready to be a father but he wasn’t ready and he wouldn’t be ready to confront his fears for awhile. He stared at Mal, no expression present on his face. ”I’m not fucking scared, Mal. But I can ignore it and I will ignore it. It’s not my problem anymore.”[/color] He told her rather bluntly, not taking into account that this was stressing her out and causing an untold amount of issues. Kyle was one for drama but drama which involved the fact he was soon to be a dad was far from good. He didn’t want any of this and Malika knew that but naturally, she just wouldn’t agree to what he wanted.

Cracking his knuckles, Kyle focused his attention elsewhere when Mal looked away from him and bowed her head. He had no intentions of moving from this position though and he would remain here even when she left. He didn’t want to do anything. He was suffering from a hangover and his “girlfriend” was worsening his headache. She just couldn’t get over the fact he didn’t want to be responsible for the child she was carrying. Kyle wasn’t going to step up to the job of being a supportive father. He didn’t want that and what he didn’t want didn’t happen. ”Does it honestly look like I care?”[/color] He asked in response to her, ”How do you even know it’s my damn kid? Last time I checked, I wasn’t the only one you were sleeping with unprotected.”[/color] This was their usual argument about the father of the child. Kyle wasn’t even convinced it was his kid in the first place and he was sure that Malika was just assuming it was his because he was the last person she slept with before she fell pregnant. He was getting pissed off as each minute ticked by and he didn’t even want to make eye contact with her anymore. He stared ahead of him and listened to her words. Of course he cared but that he was never likely to admit that because it scared him. ”You don’t need my help, Mal.”[/color] He was sure she would get better help from the other asshole she was fucking.[/size][/font][/blockquote]

( notes: this sucked. )

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[malika]

cause i don't want to know
IF I KISSED YOUR LIPS FOR THE LAST TIME, PLEASE DON'T SAY



KYLE MCKENZIE , 824 WORDS , CLOTHING , COMPLETE

all he had succeeded in was enraging her further. Did he have to push her when she was already in such a foul mood. He was being a huge jackass and Malika was tired of it. She just wanted his support. He did not need to do anything except hold her hand through it all. She wasn't asking him to be a parent full-time. He had a life, he had ambitions and she respected that. She was not completely heartless or selfish. "Don't start with me, Kyle. I swear to god, don't." Poor Malika was stressed and it wasn't helping her. Stress was bad for her right now, and had the added disadvantage of making her want to drink. If he would just talk to her, she would be more than willing to compromise. They could find a way to make this easier on both of them, but Kyle was not helping her. She needed him to support her, to be here with her. Maybe if he came with her to the doctor's appointments he could see his child and maybe that would melt his cold heart just a little bit. She had plans, she just needed to find ways to make him listen to her long enough. "If you don't want it fine, but asking me to kill it is too much." She wanted to ask him, but she couldn't, not after that. She needed him to at least show a bit of interest. Actually, Malika needed him to step up and be a responsible adult. Malika was sacrificing so much more than she was asking him to. If he would just listen, he would realise it required little work from him.

there was one thing Kyle had been right about. Neither him, nor Malika were capable of beign good parents. She tried with Brooke, but without Alex she would have failed. She needed to make more of an effort with the little girl and with her future child. Malika wouldn't say she was terrible, nor was she neglectful, but she wasn't as good as she could be. She gave Brooke attention, love and kindness and that was really all she could do. "It doesn't matter what you say, this will still be your problem." She just didn't understand. How could he just walk away from her? There relationship had been a joke, yes, but they had been friends and she cared about him and would help him if he were in trouble. She was in trouble and it was his fault, yet he wanted to walk away. She really knew how to pick the ass holes. She just didn't know how to get what she wanted from him. She wanted support, she wanted friendship and she wanted a hand she could hold through everything. "I've told you time and time again. I will not explain it any more. If you don't believe me, get a DNA test done. They'll be able to do that soon and find out if you're the father or not." She had been meaning to suggest that for a little while. She was tired of fighting and they could solve the problem easily with a DNA test. She wasn't sure if Kyle would agree though and she needed him too, especially since she couldn't pay for it on her own.

sighing, she pulled her fingers through her hair. He didn't get it. That was not the point. She could get help, but Alex shouldn't have to help her. This was his responsibility and he should step up and face it. "Yes, I do need your help." She needed him to help her out because she couldn't do it alone. Pregnancy was hard for her, as were the first few weeks after the baby was born. She needed someone to talk to, someone who could hold her hand and she wanted that person to be Kyle. She wanted it to be him, mainly because he had gotten her into this. "Do you even know what I'm asking of you?" It was a rhetorical question and even if he did attempt to answer, she was sure he would get it wrong. He had missed the point with everything else. She just wanted him to understand. She was sure the only way she could get him to do that was to have him experience some typical parent moments. She sighed, ready to ask him what she should've asked him a while ago. "Can we compromise?" She looked at him for a moment. He was still not looking at her and it frustrated her. "Be there through the pregnancy. Be there for me for the next six months and after that, we will make a decision together. If you still feel the same way, we'll give it up for adoption." She was hoping that taking an alternative route would help her win the argument she'd been having with him for the past little while.

[kyle]

*/ you don't know what it's like
( tagging: malika harper location: davenport

[/color] appearance: outfit )[/size][/font][/center]

It was fact that Kyle had a habit of frustrating people to the point where they just couldn’t even deal with him being around. He always found a large amount of amusement in the way people acted around him and how each person would take one look at him and think: asshole – or something of that sort. Kyle didn’t care. He didn’t care about anyone other than himself and in some circumstances his sister but he never really allowed himself to appear caring in front of others. He didn’t need to care about anyone. He had his goals and his dreams and eventually he would be out of everyone’s lives in New Haven in a year and a half maybe? He had no intentions on staying where he was after graduation. He’d have his grades and he’d be gone. ”Alright, love. Keep your knickers on.”

[/color] He rolled his eyes at her and smirked a little. He could clearly see she was stressed and it was his fault but he couldn’t help but put on his amusement act. Kyle was more than pissed off with her pressuring and constant harassment about the child. He had hardly any space to think and the more she pushed, the more he wanted fuck all to do with her or the baby. Which was kind of a contradictive thought as he didn’t want anything to do with the baby in the first place. He just wasn’t ready for that sort of commitment and Malika knew that. ”Don’t kill it then. Just don’t expect me to be there for it.”[/color] There was clear emphasis in the tone of his voice when he said ‘it’. It was an object to him, nothing more than a cell in his girlfriend’s body. Kyle wasn’t going to think anything of it and he was sure he wouldn’t learn to love it either.

Neither of them were considered mature enough to be parents. He hadn’t even thought about kids because he knew he would be a fail as a dad and he wasn’t the right sort of guy to be seen with a kid. The typical dad would be someone who was sweet, patient and down to earth and those were qualities which were far from what Kyle would ever be. He would never be perfect and he didn’t want to be a pathetic excuse for a guy either. ”You can’t force me into doing anything, Mal. If I don’t want it then you can’t do anything about it.”[/color] He was hardly impressed by how she was telling him that it would be his problem. Kyle would never let anything or anyone control him and that was final. He wanted things to be back to how they were before when he and Mal just had a jokey relationship. But no, he was now be yelled at by her for not being responsible for their child. He couldn’t understand why she would want him to help when all he did was fuck things up more and be an asshole about practically everything. ”I think I’ll believe it when I see it. So I’ll take a damn DNA test and settle it that way.”[/color] Kyle was never sure whether he could trust Malika. They had always had a rocky relationship and trust didn’t seem to fall into it. They cheated on one another constantly and heck, Kyle still did that. He had no control over his fear of commitment and he didn’t want to seem like a coward to anyone. If he was to overcome his fear, it would be one hell of a trip.

”Now you’re being difficult. I could walk out of your life now and you could get on with whatever the fuck you were doing before and you and what’s his face can be a happy little family.”[/color] He told her quite bluntly, shifting slightly on his bed so that his legs were over the side and he was no longer facing her but facing the window instead. Kyle just stared and stared like no tomorrow. He couldn’t get a grip around what was happening anymore and it was making him angry. He just didn’t understand why she wanted him in her life. He was a fuck up and he was another of her mistakes. Never did he look at her again. He continued to stare and he buried his head in his hands just to try and get some focus on the situation. It didn’t work and he looked at her once again, ”Should I know?”[/color] He asked in response to her, no clear expression valid on his face as he looked her right in the eyes. Kyle was beyond frustrated and pissed off and he could tell Malika was too. The fighting was helping neither of them but it seemed to be the only thing they were capable of lately. ”Oh c’mon. I don’t see how you can expect me to do that and I don’t see why I should be there. I know I got you into this mess but geez, you could do so much better without me in your life and the kid’s life.”[/color] It was a true fact. He was the fuck up in this situation and he had practically admitted that.[/size][/font][/blockquote]

( notes: (: i did it! )

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[malika]

cause i don't want to know
IF I KISSED YOUR LIPS FOR THE LAST TIME, PLEASE DON'T SAY



KYLE MCKENZIE , 1041 WORDS , CLOTHING , COMPLETE

there was only so much she could take and Malika was quickly reaching the end of her rope. She was so sick and tired of fighting. She was sick and tired of feeling like she meant absolutely nothing. She and Kyle may not have been serious, but Malika still cared about him. It was a feeling he obviously didn't return. He was treating her like dirt. "Can't you act like an adult for just a second?" She snapped at him. Malika was losing a battle with her emotions. It was better to appear angry rather than upset. Malika didn't cry. She never did. Even when she found out she was pregnant with Brooke, she kept it together. The only time she really cried was when her hormones were out of control, but that didn't happen until later in the pregnancy. She did not have an excuse right now, except pure rage, stress and deep disappointment that he seemed to not care in the slightest. "Kyle. Baby. Please? I don't know what else I can say to you. I want you to be there. Don't you think our child deserves it's father to be there?" She wasn't sure how this would work. Making him angry didn't work. She didn't really think guilting him would make him change his mind either. Malika just needed him to realise just how serious this was; how hard it'd be for her and that he wasn't making it easier. She knew he was selfish, but could he really be that heartless.

typical kyle move. She had known he would like the proof. She simply nodded at him, although he couldn't see the gesture. "Fine. But you'll have to pay for some of it. I've got some money to put towards it." She was disappointed that it had to come to that. That was money she had put aside for an apartment, for baby furniture and other things she would need, but she had to spend it on a DNA test. She was glad that Alex had kept some of Brooke's old things, so she could use those. Her first baby things were neutral colours, so she could use them regardless of the gender of the baby. She had pushed Alex into neutral colours incase the doctor happened to be mistaken. She had heard that could happen sometimes. "But what then? What will happen when you find out the baby is yours?" She couldn't help but wonder if it would change his mind in the slightest. Would she be able to depend on him? Would he give this lifestyle a chance? She wasn't expecting him to be perfect. She just wanted him to try. She wanted him to be there for her. She wanted him to be responsible. She wanted him to be a good friend. Malika was not asking much of him. She was just asking he own up to the consequences of his action. She was not the only one who decided to have sex without a condom, yet she seemed to be the only one suffering.

malika glared at him. She resented that. In fact, she resented this entire situation. He was being a coward. "His name is Alex." She was unsure how to respond to the rest of his little speech. Instead of trying, she said nothing. Even if she did go back to Alex and let him help her raise the child she was carrying, it would never be the same. She did not want to push more responsibility on him. She and Alex struggled. It was hard enough for them to come up with money for Brooke. If she were intelligent, she would get a new job, which she would probably do. She could still be bookkeepr for Alex, but that would be something she'd do for free and she could do that from home. She'd just need the papers and such. "Yes, you should know." It wasn't exactly rocket science to see what she expected from him. She wanted what any other woman in her position would want. She just didn't seem to be getting it. She did explain and the look he gave her was almost murderous. There was such anger in his eyes and it was likely mirrored in Malika's. She sighed heavily, tugging her fingers through her hair. "Don't you get it!" She practically screamed at him. Malika was tired of trying to be patient. She wanted him to listen and she wanted him to understand.

her was hard as she just looked at in him disbelief. After all she had said and he still didn't understand. If he did not get it after her next set of words, she was leaving. She was done with him. "I don't expect you to do the best! I don't expect you to be a model father or boyfriend or whatever the fuck else you think I want from you!" Her eyes were beginning to glaze over, the first sign of her angry tears. "I want you to just try and be supportive. I want to know that you at least care about me, if not this baby." That last sentence was probably not something she should have said because with everything else, she could not stand to hear him tell her that he did not give a damn about her. "If I'm going to give this baby up for adoption, I want you to see what we're giving away. I'm asking for six months of your time and you then you can go back to what you're doing, with or without me in your life." She still looking directly at him. She just wanted an answer from him. Being there for her pregnancy could not be too much for him. "What will it hurt? You can still live your life, sleep around, drink and do whatever the fuck you want. I just want you to come to appointments with me every month or two. That's it. That is all I want from you." She knew she was not being unreasonable. It would not be too much effort for him to give up an hour or two of his day once every couple of months to be there with her and hold her hand.