|
|
Post by carter anthony hoffman on Dec 9, 2009 22:11:44 GMT -5
 there's no excuse, no explanation, believe[/i][/size][/font][/color] ME IF I COULD UNDO WHAT I DID WRONG I WOULD- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
TAG: BETHANY KENNEDY . LOCATION: CARTER'S
OUTFIT: HERE . WORDS: ONE ZERO ZERO SIX
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/font][/b][/center] The night together had been one that Carter would forever remember. It wasn’t like his usual quick fucks then disappear before the girl wakes up. No, it was soft and gentle, intimate on so many levels above simply physical. Part of him still wanted her and that part wanted to make it up to her for all the hurt he had caused. Before he had just gone on assumptions that she was still upset about it all but last night he had seen the physical evidence of how much he had truly hurt her. He had felt the welts and the scars under his calloused fingertips, he had felt them against his torso as they moved together and when her arms had wrapped around his shoulders he felt the scars on her wrists. How she could do that he didn’t know. It pained him to see her cause herself injury, to mark her body up in a way just to let out everything that she felt inside. When they had been dating none of those scars were there because she was happy, she had no reason to try to find an outlet for pain. He hadn’t hurt her then; he had always tried to make her happy, to make her smile, to have her let that joyous laugh escape from those pink lips of hers. Now that wasn’t the case. As he laid there with her in his arms as he tried to fall back asleep his fingers traced over the scars on her wrists and he had to fight back the tears that were threatening to escape from the corners of his eyes. The damage was done, this he knew but there had to be some way to make her stop hurting, to ease the pain she felt. Carter didn’t know what he could though especially since he had been the person to make her this way. The fragile and broken girl that was in his arms was a product of the wrongs he had committed.
It didn’t take long for him to push those thoughts from his mind though just so he could get a little more sleep. He was tired seeing how the two had stayed up a bit later than he usually did and well, just laying here listening to the gentle sound of her breathing was enough to lull the young man back to sleep. There were no dreams to be dreamt as he lay there, instead they were blissfully blank, fully of nothing but blackness. Carter did not know how long he was asleep for or what had gone on in the outside world but he did eventually feel a shift in the bed beside him and his arm being moved he just did not open his eyes. The athlete stayed like that for a little while longer, pulling the blanket over him and letting his eyes remain closed. He didn’t want to deal with the yelling, arguing or fighting that was sure to come of all of this. He just wanted a few more moments to relish in the memories of last night and the memories of years previously. Those thoughts made him smile as he laid there, his body sprawled out on the large bed. If he had any sense he would get up and see where Beth went but that would wait a little longer. The sound of the bathroom door closing was heard and he waited to see if there was any yelling, any slamming of things, any signs of anger but there were none which completely surprised him. Finally after what seemed like forever the young man rolled out of bed and sat up, running his fingers through his blonde locks before stretching out his arms and legs before standing to his feet.
Carter searched on the floor for his boxers. It took a little longer than he thought it would because there were blankets and pillows scattered about along with all the clothing from last night. Eventually he found his boxers and he slid them on and up his body until they were on fully. Yawning slightly he covered his mouth and then glanced at the clock. It was late morning and he was just waking up, they were just waking up, that was something he didn’t think would happen. Last night the last thought he had was that he would wake up to her being gone. Carter hoped that wouldn’t happen anytime soon though, he knew they needed to talk but the question was if they could actually have a conversation without blowing up at one another. Making his way over to the bathroom he knocked on it, waiting for some sort of response from her. Hoffman was paranoid now and was hoping to god she wasn’t cutting herself. She had enough scars upon that delicate skin and he didn’t want the night they had shared together to be a fresh one upon her wrist.
“Beth?
[/color]” He questioned quietly as he pushed open the door and stuck his head inside. After letting his gaze adjust to the lighting of the restroom he caught sight of her sitting on the toilet and he made his way inside. Taking a seat on the edge of the bathtub beside her Carter said nothing for a little while, just letting the silence settle over them as he watched her carefully to see how she was doing. He was even trying to figure out what was going on in her mind but he knew that would never happy. She was one of those complex girls that he never really understood fully. “ Are you okay?[/color]” Smooth, Hoffman, real smooth. You sleep with a girl whom you haven’t had a decent conversation with in nearly four years after you cheated on her with one of her friends, then you go and ask her if she’s alright, yeah, that’s smart. Honestly he knew that wasn’t the best question but it was the first thing that came to mind so he spurted it out.[/justify][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
notes: -yaaaaaawns- [/size][/font][/center] |
|
|
|
Post by bethany paige kennedy on Dec 9, 2009 22:35:45 GMT -5
i wake up and teardrops
THEY FALL DOWN LIKE RAIN. I PUT ON THAT OLD SONG...
CUTTING herself was something Beth would not do in another’s home. How she let her pain out was a personal process and to do that in another’s house was both awkward and stupid. No, she had just needed to think without his body pressed against hers. She needed to just get away from him for a little bit and the only place she was willing to go was his bathroom. She had never wished for a simple solution to a complex problem like she wished for it now. She wanted things to be okay between them, but Beth did not know how to make it that way. She did not know if Carter wanted things to be the way she wanted them to be, although she desperately hoped they could be. She had chosen to interpret his actions in the way she had, but there were infinite meanings behind the actions. It would’ve just been an action to hopefully get closure. He could’ve been trying to just give her what she wanted. He could have used her for sex because he couldn’t get any off Abby. That last thought had crossed her mind, but she pushed it aside. The experience would not have been the way it was had that been the reason behind it. She had convinced herself of that, simply because she did not want to torture herself with the thoughts that she was once more second rate to Abby. There was too much emotion. It was sensual and loving and Beth had been under the impression that there was something still there. In her experience, sex like that didn’t just happen. In fact, that felt like more than sex. It was difficult for her to describe, but she had felt something, something that sparked hope and made her heart pound.
HEARING her name from outside the door didn’t stir her. She did not answer. She was unsure if she could actually find her voice right now. She barely looked at him, but she almost felt him move across the room and sit himself on the edge of the bath near her. She was almost hoping that he would reach over and grab her hand or some simple gesture like that, but he did not touch her. It was disappointing, but she showed no sign of that emotion. He probably had a good reason for not wanting to touch her, unsure if she were angry at him. She wasn’t. She was simply disappointed and upset with herself. Beth did not know how she could fix the situation at hand. At his question, she sat very still for a few moments before she shrugged. That was all the answer she could give. She was not sure how she was herself. She emphasised that fact by mumbling, “I don’t know.” She felt torn. What had happened between them? Did it change their relationship? Were they friends? Were they simply fuck buddies? Were they on the track to fixing their emotional relationship? She wanted him to answer those questions for her. She wanted to hear him tell her what they were. She wished he could read her thoughts and tell her before she drove herself insane. She knew that would not happen, so she summoned the courage to speak those thoughts, to ask the question she needed answered. He was the only one who could answer it. “Where does this leave us?” She knew that he would know what ‘this’ was. She was talking about them and about last night. She needed to know and she was sure Carter did too. If he was the person she had once known, he would need that question answered.
ALONG with the question, she needed something else answered. In fact, she had needed that question answered a long time ago, but she had been too proud to ask it. Her pride had already taken quite a beating, so she did not see the harm in asking him another difficult question. She raised her head and looked at him, her face blank and her eyes once more dull and lacking the sparkle that had been in them once she had gotten comfortable with him last night. “Can I ask you something?” She knew him well enough to know that he would say that she could and she paused once he had responded. She looked away, her gaze fixed on the bathroom floor. It was now or never, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer. What if he told her that he couldn’t? What would she do then? She had to know. If there was a possibility, she wanted to fight for him. If there was a possibility, she wanted to show him that she was better for him than Abby would ever be. She wanted him to love her and until she knew he couldn’t, she would not be able to move past him. “Do you think you could ever love me again?” Her voice was low and it was obvious in her tone how difficult it had been to answer that question. She just needed to know. It was vital to her moving on that she knew the answer to that question. She was just hoping that the answer wouldn’t hurt her. She wasn’t sure how much more heartache she could take. She was praying he would say that he still loved her, that he missed her and he wanted her back. She knew that possibility of that happening was unlikely, but that did not stop her from hoping.
[/b][/color][/font] carter hoffman / kelley STATUS complete WORD COUNT nine hundred and twenty-six OUTFIT check it outLYRIC CREDIT these days, rascal flatts TEMPLATE CREDIT NIE SAYS RAWR ?! @ caution 2.0 NOTES blah.[/ul][/blockquote][/size][/font] |
|
|
|
Post by carter anthony hoffman on Dec 9, 2009 22:55:42 GMT -5
there's no excuse, no explanation, believe [/i][/size][/font][/color] ME IF I COULD UNDO WHAT I DID WRONG I WOULD- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
TAG: BETHANY KENNEDY . LOCATION: CARTER'S
OUTFIT: HERE . WORDS: ONE ZERO ONE ZERO
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/font][/b][/center] As he sat on the edge of the bathtub beside her Carter did not speak nor did he move. His gaze was focused on the floor beneath him and he tried to make sense of everything that had gone on the night before. It wasn’t just sex, that was easy enough to recognize but what exactly was it then? There were plenty of emotions thrown into the mix but was it because one of them wanted more or was that just what his mind was telling him? Why had it even happened? He hadn’t been the one to initiate it, she had been and he had even made sure she was okay with it before diving in the situation deeper. Finally the young man moved a bit but only enough to shift his position and he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He wanted to tell her what was going on in his mind but honestly even Carter was completely confused. His thoughts were torn between Bethany and trying to fix things and Abby and trying to fix things. Both girls meant a lot to him, more than he was willing to admit but when it came down to it which one would he fight for? That was a question that even he did not know the question to and as he sat there it was obvious that he was very deep in thought. He was pretty sure that she had her own thoughts shooting through her mind as well, hence the reason he did not speak. His reasoning behind not touching her was simple. He did not want to aggravate her more than she probably already was, he wanted to remain headache free this morning and he hoped that would not change. Letting out a sigh his head dropped to his hands for a brief moment, only long enough to rub his eyes before returning back to his previous position: arms resting on knees, gaze focused on the floor.
So she could speak, she wasn’t mad enough at him to completely ignore him and her tone of voice wasn’t one that he was used to hearing for the past few years. Was there really anyway that he could answer her simple ‘I don’t know’? He didn’t think so and once again silence filled the air. Why did things have to be so difficult lately? Why couldn’t everything go back to how it used to be, why couldn’t him and Beth have had a clean break up which wouldn’t have ended like this, which wouldn’t have caused issues over the past few years? Hearing her speak again he lifted his gaze to look at her, his blue eyes scanned her face for a moment before falling to look at her sheet wrapped form before returning to the ground. “I don’t know.
[/color]” He responded quietly. Usually Carter was the guy that had an answer for everything but right now there was none that he could think of. He didn’t know where they were now, he didn’t know if she hated him or if she wanted him out of her life still. He didn’t know what was going to happen if he told her that they were friends, that they were getting together or that he was walking out of her life. He knew no matter what approach he took there would be a different reaction and since he didn’t even know what he wanted to be with her the simple ‘I don’t know’ seemed to fit perfectly. Carter only hoped that he would not get yelled at for saying those words. It wasn’t like he was lying though, he honestly did not know anything about what was going on, he had tried to put two and two together to see where his emotions were, to see where his heart wanted to be but he didn’t know. Carter just wanted to feel like someone needed him, like he was wanted once more but he would not use her. Now cue the silence once more. This seemed to be what they were both soaking in this morning and Carter shifted uncomfortably in his seat upon the tub ledge. Now what was going to happen next he was unsure of but so far so good, it didn’t seem like either of them wanted to kill the other yet. Well, her more than him because Carter didn’t really have an issue with her apart from the fact that she was always beating down on him for cheating. “ Of course, anything.[/color]” Oh boy, she wanted to ask him something, what exactly would that be though? Of course Carter’s mind wouldn’t wait for her to continue on and he started shifting through every possibility of what could be asked. Everything from the most positive of thoughts to the most negative but he didn’t know what end of the spectrum to turn to. Finally she asked her question and Carter didn’t know what to say. Could he ever love her again? He didn’t know. Right now he had no idea about anything going on in his life, especially not about this. “ You don’t want me, Beth.[/color]” He spoke up quietly, pushing himself to his feet as he moved over to the sink and he stared at his reflection in the mirror. “ I’m not the guy I used to be.[/color]” Carter paused for a moment as he traced his finger along his jaw and down his neck, letting his fingers rest on the few hickey’s she had left upon his neck. “ I’m damaged in more ways than one.[/color]” What the ex-pro football player meant by that was simple. Not only was he physically damaged (the scars on his torso and the one going from his hip down his side to right above his knee were proof of that damage along with the limp he sometimes had) but he was emotionally damaged. What happened with Abby had ripped him apart from the inside out and he still wasn’t completely over that and he highly doubted he ever would be.[/justify][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
notes: -yaaaaaawns- [/size][/font][/center] |
|
|
|
Post by bethany paige kennedy on Dec 9, 2009 23:29:08 GMT -5
i wake up and teardrops
THEY FALL DOWN LIKE RAIN. I PUT ON THAT OLD SONG...
IT was easy to see that she was disappointed in the answer he gave her. Carter always had the answers. He had been the one to fix her problems before everything had happened. The fact that he could not answer one of the questions she needed answered was frustrating and upsetting, but she said nothing. She would give him some time to ponder it and perhaps he would be able to think of a suitable response. Beth did not hate Carter. She never had. It was just easier to pretend she did, but now, she wasn’t so sure she could keep up the charade. She needed to heal. She needed to stop holding on the past, but she was hoping that their future could resemble their past. “I don’t hate you.” What had driven the words, she wasn’t so sure. She just felt the need to tell him that no matter how angry she was, no matter how much he had hurt her, she did not hate him. She wanted to. She wanted to more than anything else, but she couldn’t. She still wasn’t looking at him. She was wondering how those four words would change or influence the conclusion he would eventually come to. She wanted to know what they were. She needed to know that, to settle the thoughts whirling inside of her. There was no doubt that last night should not have happened, but now that it did, she wanted to know what it had done to them. It had changed their relationship, but how much? It was undeniable she wanted him. She had never wanted a person more. She wanted him because she loved him, because she wanted to show him she was better than Abby and that she was a better girlfriend and she would never hurt him the way she had done and how he had hurt it. It was pathetic to think that she could push aside their past so easily.
TYPICAL Carter response. He was avoiding her question. She watched him rise to the mirror and watch himself. He wasn’t the same person, but neither was she. She just knew that she still loved him and that she wanted a chance to see where they could go. She wanted to know if things could ever be as fun and carefree as they once had been. She wanted him to be able to make her smile and laugh when she felt like crying. She wanted him to hold her through the night when she had too much on her mind. She wanted him to tell her that he loved her and wanted to be with just her. She would give anything; pay any price to have that again. He had missed the huge hints she had been dropping if he was trying to tell her she did not want him. She had not wanted anyone more. She had not loved anyone the way she had loved him. “I want you, Carter. Only you.” She hated herself right now. She was being so weak by telling him that. She had not said a nice word to him in four years and she was telling him that she wanted him. It was true. She did want him. It was hard to believe she could love someone as much as she loved him and all she wanted was his love in return. “You and me both,” she said to him, laughing bitterly. She held out her arms and looked down at the scars. “Physical wounds, emotional ones. The physical heal faster and usually mean less.” She simple shrugged and folded her arms in front of her chest. She just looked at Carter, wondering what was going through his mind. Were they similar thoughts to the ones she was thinking?
RISING to her feet, Beth followed him to the mirror and she stood behind him. Her arms moved around his waist and her head rest on his back. She was unsure what had driven her to do this, but she had missed this. She stood in that position for a little while, thinking of what to say to him. “I need to know, Carter.” It was spoken in a whisper. She meant those words. She needed to know where they stood, how he felt. “I need this for me. I need to know where we are, where we can go.” She sighed, her arms tightening around his form, should he try to escape this conversation and her. Her eyes closed as they started to fill. She did not want to say this to him, but she knew that he would need to hear it. “I’ve spent so long wondering if there was ever a chance of having you back, if you could ever love me the way you had. I need to know, especially after what I felt last night. Please, just end this for me, Carter? Give me an answer.” If he continued to avoid the question, she would leave. That would be her answer. It would mean he couldn’t love her. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he could never feel the same way for her again. It would have hurt, but she could have accepted it. “Could you ever love me again? Could we ever be what we were?” She took a deep breath, tears building behind her eyelids. She was not going to cry, not in his presence. She just stayed close to his body. She could feel his scarred torso under one of her arms, but she did not care. She wasn’t physically perfect. At least his one flaw – if it could be called that – was accidental. Beth had inflicted hers upon herself and would have to live with them.
[/b][/color][/font] carter hoffman / kelley STATUS complete WORD COUNT nine hundred and fifty-nine OUTFIT check it outLYRIC CREDIT these days, rascal flatts TEMPLATE CREDIT NIE SAYS RAWR ?! @ caution 2.0 NOTES he's heartless if he doesn't answer.[/ul][/blockquote][/size][/font] |
|
|
|
Post by carter anthony hoffman on Dec 9, 2009 23:57:41 GMT -5
there's no excuse, no explanation, believe [/i][/size][/font][/color] ME IF I COULD UNDO WHAT I DID WRONG I WOULD- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
TAG: BETHANY KENNEDY . LOCATION: CARTER'S
OUTFIT: HERE . WORDS: ONE TWO TWO ONE
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/font][/b][/center] She didn’t hate him? Well, that was news to the young man. For so long he had thought she did hate him, that she didn’t want him in her life, that he had hurt her so much that she no longer cared what happened to him. For so long he thought that because of everything that he had done he had lost his best friend. Now that they were sitting in his bathroom after one night spent together he knew that there were many thoughts going through both of their minds. At least one of his questions had been cleared up and he now knew that she did not hate him and after she spoke those words it felt like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. At least he did not have to worry about that any longer. After today though would her feelings and thoughts behind those words change? Would she hate him after everything was said and done today? “After what I did I wouldn’t be surprised if you did hate me.
[/color]” Carter spoke up, chuckling an awkward chuckle and shaking his head slightly. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness, he didn’t deserve to sit here and hear her say that she did not hate him. What he deserved was a swift kick in the happy sacks, to be told he was a worthless sack of shit, to be smacked around and to be told that he would never be good enough for anyone. Physical pain was nothing to him; he was used to it growing up as well as emotional pain. Coming from an abusive household would do that to you but it was one thing coming from your mother whom you knew was a cruel and heartless bitch then coming from someone whom he actually did care about. As he stood there, his gaze focused on the sink now while many thoughts ran through his mind no words came to mind that he needed to speak. He needed time to work everything out in his mind. Where was everything going to go from here on out? He now knew that she wanted another chance with him but his thoughts kept going to Abby. What about her? What about the girl he would give anything to have back, that he had been doing everything in his power to try to get back with. If he went into a relationship with Bethany not only would he risk not getting Abby back but then he would risk potentially hurting Beth again if something were to happen with him and Abby. This was a tough situation to be in and no matter what way his mind seemed to pull him there were pros and cons to every situation. Was he supposed to sit back and wait for Abby to see that he was standing here waiting for her, that he wanted her so bad that it hurt or was he supposed to take a leap in the dark and go be with a girl that actually wanted him? Carter hated being put into situations where he could hurt someone no matter what he did and right now he wasn’t just worried about hurting two girls that he cared about, right now he was worrying about himself. He didn’t think he could go through another heartbreak. He couldn’t deal with that pain again. It was the most painful experience of his life and he would go through that car accident all over again if it meant that his heart would stay safe and guarded. At her words stating that she wanted him and only him he felt his jaw clench slightly. If those words had left Abby’s lips at any point in time he would go running back to her, wrap his arms around her and kiss her passionately but Bethany was not Abigail and therefore he needed to weigh his pros and cons before making a decision. He glanced behind him briefly in time to catch her holding out her arms and a sigh escaped his lips. “ Why, Beth? Why did you… [/color]” He couldn’t even bring himself to ask that question but he figured she would know what he was referring to. He needed to know why she had cut her arms up, why she had tried to escape the pain by causing intentional pain to herself. Her words were true though, physical wounds did heal faster than emotional ones and as she spoke of that his hand moved to his side for a moment before he let out a small chuckle, moving his hand up to his heart before dropping it to rest on the sink. “ The physical ones are easier to deal with than the emotional ones though.[/color]” That was Carter’s point of view at least. The scars he had from his accident were nothing compared to the pain of a broken heart and he had a feeling that Bethany would completely agree with him there. It would appear that the two of them were making progress, it was slow progress but it was progress nonetheless. Neither of them were yelling and neither of them were trying to get out of the bathroom before the other exploded. It was a somewhat peaceful silence that Carter was going to embrace for right now especially as his mind tried to sift through the wild rampant amount of thoughts that were currently flying through it. The feeling of her arms wrapping around his waist caught him off-guard and he jumped slightly but after realizing it was only her he regained his composure. Bringing his blue eyes upward he watched her face in the mirror and he could tell that this was hurting her, all of it was and it was because he had yet to answer her question. The words that left her lips once her eyes were closed caused his gaze to drop once again and he brought one of his hands up to trace along her arm. He needed to answer her, Carter knew this, he couldn’t keep holding her at arms length because he didn’t know what to say so that he wouldn’t hurt her and so that he himself would not be hurt. “ Honestly Beth?[/color]” It was a rhetorical question as he moved so that he was now facing her and Carter wrapped his arms around her. “ I don’t know if we could ever be what we were. That was a long time ago and both of us have changed a lot.[/color]” He paused for a moment as he searched for the right words to say. “ Could I ever love you again? Beth, I still do love you, I told you that last night. I just … I don’t know if either of us are ready to try a relationship just yet. We’ve only just started speaking again.[/color]” As he spoke Carter leaned down to press his lips against the top of her head gently and let out a small sigh. “ We shouldn’t rush things or else we’ll just have another regret to add to our plates.[/color]” He wasn’t saying that he didn’t want to be with her because part of him did, what he was saying was that right now he thought it would be best if they took things slow and see where they went from there.[/justify][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
notes: -scratches head- [/size][/font][/center] |
|
|
|
Post by bethany paige kennedy on Dec 10, 2009 0:42:06 GMT -5
i wake up and teardrops
THEY FALL DOWN LIKE RAIN. I PUT ON THAT OLD SONG...
NO attempt was made by her to answer his question. The scars were there because she had needed an outlet. She’d had no one, so harming herself was really the only relief she could find. She wasn’t sure if Carter wanted to hear that. Instead, she asked a question of him. “Why do you think I did it?” She wanted interested to hear if he actually thought that her intention had been to take her life. That hadn’t been it, or Beth would probably be dead. The answer was simple really. She had done it to just rid herself from the pain and hurt bubbling up inside of her. The physical pain was nothing compared to the emotions she was keeping locked inside and watching herself bleed was almost like she was ridding herself of the emotional distress she had been feeling and suffering through. Before he could answer, she decided to just answer him herself. “It was relieving. It made me feel better about everything.” Carter was right with the next comment. The physical pain was easier to deal with, it was easier to heal. There were limited things that could heal emotional wounds and the fact that he knew that opened her eyes. He had been heartbroken. He must’ve been. That caused a stabbing pain to go right through her heart. He had been heartbroken over Abby and she had meant nothing. She looked down and bit her lip, pushing that from her mind. Well, he’d been the one to have the comfort of the girl he had cheated on her with. Beth’d had no one to pick up the pieces. She had been so distrusting, so upset with the world that she wouldn’t have let someone help, had they tried. “Oh, I know. Believe me, I know.”
ARMS still holding him close to her, she waited for his answer. She needed to know what he would say to her. She was happy to not be able to look at him and was disappointed when he turned around. She buried her face in his bare chest, not looking at him as he answered her. She was scared of what he would say to her. This first sentence cut through her life a knife. She had interpreted it as ‘he didn’t want to be her’. However, his next words brought a flicker of hope. He still loved her. That was the hopefulness she needed. She had wanted to hear that he still loved her. The next question was ‘how much?’ She was not going to ask it. She would not allow herself to ask that of him. She just revelled in the fact that he did love her. There were still feelings there, just as she had known that they would be. His lips to the top of her head confirmed that. She held him tightly, fearful of what would come next. She chewed her lip roughly when he continued. He did not want to be with her. They were over for good. She hadn’t been asking him to jump back into a relationship with her, she just asking was there hope. Could they possibly go back to a loving relationship with each other? That was something she wanted more than anything else. She wanted a second chance. She wanted to see where they could go. It would be the closure she needed, or it would be the beginning of a life together. Either of those would be something that Beth needed to make a start back to the fun, sweet, happy person she had once been. She was asking whether there was a possibility that he could help her and he couldn’t. “So, basically we’re done?”
HER arms unwrapped from his body and she wiggled her way out of his embrace. She did not want to hear the answer to that. Maybe it was time to go. This was more than she should’ve heard, more than she should’ve asked. She sighed and made for the bathroom door to get her clothing from where he had placed them last night. Her hand made contact with the door handle and she turned back to Carter to speak to him. “I regret one thing. You know that that is?” She needed him to know this. She needed to hear the one thing she wished she could change. “I regret not listening to you before you started dating Abby. I regret being so bitter, and wearing my heart on my sleeve. Maybe if I didn’t, I could still say you were mine and I could proudly say that I’m still in love with you.” Her eyes clouded over and she turned and opened the door and stepped out. She willed herself to keep her tears from falling down her face, but she couldn’t. One escaped and then another and then another. She grabbed her clothes and she kept her mouth tightly closed to keep from sobbing. Her thought was tightening painfully, but she would not let herself weep in his room. Tears were one thing, but sobbing was pathetic and she was not going to let it happen. She grabbed her clothes, but her hand hesitated on the sheet wrapped around her. It was different letting him see her naked now, than letting him see it last night. Last night had been wonderful, amazing, but sadly a onetime thing. Revealing her bare body now would be humiliating and not something she was sure she wanted to deal with. She hung her head and her eyes closed. Why did she let herself get in this situation?
[/b][/color][/font] carter hoffman / kelley STATUS complete WORD COUNT nine hundred and thirty-one OUTFIT check it outLYRIC CREDIT these days, rascal flatts TEMPLATE CREDIT NIE SAYS RAWR ?! @ caution 2.0 NOTES how do i still have muse?[/ul][/blockquote][/size][/font] |
|
|
|
Post by carter anthony hoffman on Dec 10, 2009 1:06:52 GMT -5
there's no excuse, no explanation, believe [/i][/size][/font][/color] ME IF I COULD UNDO WHAT I DID WRONG I WOULD- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
TAG: BETHANY KENNEDY . LOCATION: CARTER'S
OUTFIT: HERE . WORDS: ONE ZERO TWO SEVEN
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/font][/b][/center] Yes, Carter did think that maybe she had pondered taking her life but he knew her well enough to know that if that was what she wanted then she would have done that by now. “To find a way to get rid of the pain.
[/color]” Was his simple response. She wasn’t the only one who had found a way to try to get rid of the pain that she felt. After Abby and himself had broken up Carter had turned to drinking and right now he was pretty close to becoming an alcoholic. Anyone who would take one look in his recycle bin could tell you that much. He found that drinking would help for awhile and at least he could hide it from others when he wanted to. He would rather sit there and drown himself in alcohol then to actually go out and try to fix things with Abby. The pain he felt after the breakup and even up until now was still unbearable for him and what was even worse was hanging out with Abby and knowing that she would never be his, at least not until they both worked out a lot of things in their own lives first. It was hard sitting with her though, talking with her, having her fall asleep cuddled up to him and know that it was purely friendship. He couldn’t kiss her, he couldn’t tell her how much she meant to him and he couldn’t ask for her back. Those simple facts broke his heart but luckily he had become quite the expert on putting on a strong face. Years of being abused and a year of being heartbroken had done that to him. Carter now found it easy as could be to hide behind a smile, a joke, a laugh or a sarcastic phrase and everyone that knew him fell for it. Carter was not trying to tell her that he didn’t want to be with her, he was telling her that he did not want to have to deal with heartbreak again and he knew that she probably wouldn’t be able to either. In the past year Carter had lost two girls, one that he loved more than life itself and one that he was starting to really care for. It had barely been a month since Rae walked out of his life and he was still healing from that. No, he hadn’t known her for long but she had left an imprint on his heart that he didn’t think she would. If he gave his heart to Beth and had it broken for a third time the young man wasn’t sure how that would affect him. Things were already hard enough for him right now between helping his brother with Lucas, trying to patch things up with Abby, dealing with Rae leaving, work, trying to get back up to standards so that he could try out for the NFL again, his mother being in the hospital and so many other things that the young man was currently burdened with. He didn’t know how to act or what to say. Surely she would understand why he was so timid to get into a relationship wouldn’t she? Carter knew that she was an understanding female and he hoped that perhaps this could be one of those things that she would understand. “ No. I didn’t say that.” How had she gotten a ‘we’re done’ out of what he had just said? Those words had not left his mouth, at least last he checked, but now she was saying that they had? This was why Carter would never understand females; they tried adding their own meaning to words that were said, words that were meant exactly how they were spoken. When she pulled away from his embrace a sigh escaped his lips and he mentally prepared himself for a fight that he knew was going to be in tow eventually. At least that’s how most things ended with girls that he knew: nice words would be spoken, things would be going good then they would misinterpret one thing that he said and it would cause an argument. Carter remained where he was, standing in front of the sink, his steel blue eyes locked on her back as she made her way toward the door. When she stopped, faced him and spoke he listened to her words without interruption. He could not find anything to say so instead of speaking he watched her walk out and he leaned over the sink, a sigh of frustration escaping his mouth once again as he dropped his head to his hands. This was turning sour and he didn’t like it in one bit. Carter would let her go for a few moments though while he tried to sort through everything. She wanted him back, she still loved him and from what he could tell she needed him. Right now he just wanted someone who could love him, someone who needed him and someone whom he felt actually wanted him. Call him selfish but he was trying his hardest not to be. He just felt so empty lately but he wasn’t going to try to push those thoughts to the front of his mind simply because he wanted to be with someone. Finally he moved to the door of the bathroom and made his way out to her in silence. The sight he saw nearly tore his heart out though. Why was he constantly making this girl cry? Why was she always hurting because of him? Crossing the room he made his way over to her and upon reaching her side he took the clothing from her hand and dropped it to the ground before wrapping his arms tightly around her once again. “ I didn’t mean it like that, Bumblebee.[/color]” He spoke quietly, pulling her to his chest. If there was one thing that Hoffman hated it was when a girl cried, especially if they cried over something that he did. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be, they weren’t meant to be here right now, her crying over words that she had misinterpreted.[/justify][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
notes: no idea but it's awesome. x]
- continued in mini rp cbox - [/size][/font][/center] |
|
