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Post by natalie on Dec 7, 2009 9:56:20 GMT -5
 this sad story always ends the same ,M E S T A N D I N G I N T H E P O U R I N G R A I N .
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - OPEN , 673 WORDS , COMPLETED , THE TROUBLE WITH LOVE IS - KELLY CLARKSON
( yush yush, it's open. =D )a small silver mini cooper pulled up into the yale university car park with natalie driving inside. as she turned off the ignition, she firmly pulled the hand break up but instead of opening the door and heading outside into the winter snow, she remained inside, turning up the volume of the stereo. kelly clarkson played for the hundredth time this morning that the words from the trouble with love it were etched into her mind. a box of tissues lay ahead of her on the dashboard, and she reached over to pull out a soft square piece before using it blow her nose. it sucked, this being in love and having her heart broken twice. at least unlike the first time, there was the possibility of them reconciling. they were friends for twenty years after all. however at the moment natalie's heart was sinking slowly and tears couldn't help but escape her brown eyes.
she quietly sniffed, bringing the tissue to her nose when outside, she noticed two people - a boy and girl - smiling happily and cuddling each other as they walked through the snow. that was great if you thought about how happy they were, but for natalie it was like watching a scene from a romantic film she'd seen a million times before. she had to admit, love did suck majorly. whoever in history recognised the emotion of love was going to be stabbed, as well as whoever invented the concept of valentine's day. at the same time, she wanted to praise the people who made chocolate and action movies - her only best friends left in this cruel loveless world right now. you see, while heart broken women stereotypically watched romantic movies, natalie was all for the action particularly if it involved a man dying. she was feminist like that. taking a deep relaxing breath, the woman decided that this wasn't going to ruin her day. this winter day was absolutely beautiful and one stupid emotion was not going to prevent her from enjoying it. she didn't need a man as she was always independent, and with that thought in mind she gave herself a huge smile before turning off the music and opening the door to get out.
the young couple before her stopped in their tracks to kiss far in the distance, and envious of their public display of affection ( she couldn't keep this independence up for long ), natalie too stopped although to stare in awe. her smile of pride turned into a sad one; another scene that could have come out of a film. for once, natalie wanted to see a girl kick a boy in the crotch and walk away, but these two students looked far from arguing. it was then that the girl and boy broke off and looked in natalie's direction that caught her off guard. they seemed to be staring at her with wide eyes that looked like shock - not because she had been staring at them but because unbeknown to her, she was in danger. natalie couldn't understand at first, but when the roaring sound of screeching tyres approached her she quickly turned around and stared like a deer in headlights. she couldn't move for her feet felt frozen to the ground ( not literally ) and she shut her eyes expecting to die any second. at least if the inevitable happened, her worries would go away. so with that thought, she realised that she wouldn't have minded if she was hit. however the large SUV which had become out of control overshadowed her before coming to a halt just inches away from her small body.
was she dead?
natalie opened her eyes to reveal the black vehicle still in front of her and its driver sticking his torso out of the window freaked out and with a look of apology plastered on his face. natalie didn't care however, for her mind began to spin in circles before her knees collapsed and she fainted... her mind turning to black. |
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Post by sebastian on Dec 9, 2009 3:44:42 GMT -5
tonight will be the night that i will fall for you  OVER AGAIN, DON'T MAKE ME CHANGE MY MIND
status finished count 1549 music secondhand serenade notes heya [/center] life didn't have to be difficult. really, when one simply sat back and actually thought of all the stupid shit that they did, it would be easy to spot those instances in life where things had been stressed too much. however, there were also times when a body might underplay the seriousness, the ludicrousness, the absolute wrong to a happening. at this point, sebastian considered himself firmly sheltered within the latter description. after two days spent holed up as nothing more than a hermit, the man had time to reflect. in fact, it was pretty much all he had done besides the mandatory bathroom break. sebastian had simply plopped himself down in the middle of his living room floor, his back to the sofa, and spent forty-eight hours attempting to decipher how his life could be so fucked over. and it was! he was not just being melodramatic or self-pitying. how else could you describe a man who had done nothing more than pathetically pine after his childhood friend for over twenty years, as anything but tragic? twenty years of his life were now gone, and what did he have to show for it? a bunch of memories, good and bad times? they wouldn't keep him warm at night.
someone, somewhere, was laughing at him. it was probably jonathan, too, if the world wanted to make cruelty her weapon. jonathan, the only man who ever managed to be something more to natalie. sebastian's hands raked over his face and through his hair, tugging viciously at the strands. there had to be something wrong with women; something that made them believe that the men they love has to be a guy who will treat them no better than he would his worst enemy. guys like sebastian--the good, gentle, undeniably sweet and hardworking? well, they were a dime a dozen in this land. nothing, as he remembered one of his first girlfriends told him while she was breaking up with said, more than a pansy waste of flesh. where that had come from, the man would never know. just because he liked romantic films and thought a woman deserved to be treasured for life, did not mean he lacked balls for maniless. sebastian was not the biggest guy out there, no, but he had the potential to be lethal. quite plainly, there had never been any need for him to behave so irrationally, or be so temperamental. indeed, the architect was famous for the good humor he seemed always in possession of. sebastian liked a good joke, he liked to laugh and see others smile. he liked having everything just be nice. if that made him a dandy, then so be it.
but, it really did not matter anymore now. sebastian had gone and put his foot so securely down his throat that hudini would be remiss to figure a way out. he had tried being the nice guy--twenty-eight years, he'd been dedicated to this role. and then discontent with his lot, his world suddenly seemed routine and sad. a flash of the future had come to him, with he and natalie still in old age in that close friendship they'd shared forever; friendship, and nothing more. the man had never been able to accept that she hadn't been born for him until now. even when she'd fallen for jonathan and so profusely professed her love for the bastard, sebastian had held a tiny shred of hope. hope that one day, she would notice that he'd been there the entire time, waiting. in truth, he felt he'd done his time--twenty years was a hell of a time to invest in someone with so flimsy a foundation as hope. after all that time, if something was meant to happen, it would've happened already. it was time for him to just accept that. and yet, he couldn't. sebastian thought a charade might do it--perhaps if he became what jonathan was, she would finally notice him. the bike.. the jackets.. even the coare language? none of it was him. he'd never felt so awkward in his life and somehow, natalie had seen right through him. it hadn't done him any good.
he could pretend to be the son of God, and it seemed she would merely glance at him. it was too late, though, to take anything back. now she knew how he felt, and there was no convincing her this time that a few drinks had made him stupid tipsy. he'd been very sober, very angry, and very fed up that day in front of his house. there was no mistaking the passion in him, the heartache he'd felt after her neglect. for a moment, he'd allowed himself to think that things would be okay. his spirits had risen when she had not immediately rejected him; they'd even shared a kiss. though, that in itself wasn't something he could rest on--they'd "been" together before, he'd kissed her many times, but this had always been those nights when natalie would come to him with a new sob story between her and jonathan. yes, the man realized he was an asshole for taking advantage of her all those times, to offer her comfort in another man's arms even for the night. but could he be blamed for it? he'd wanted her for so long... it wasn't the same--she didn't love him. not in the way he wanted. and now, when she knew how he felt and what he desired, she still only toyed with him. it was rather cruel, actually. the man had declared she would marry him--that he didn't plan to wait forever for her, which he didn't--and even then, she'd only smiled and quipped, "i wasn't going to say no." what kind of assurance was that? did she not understand how much it meant to him, to hear her, just once, say clear as day that she was his? these circles... they made him dizzy.
sebastian, however, was beyond help. natalie was a woman he would never get over; he would always love her, no matter the deed she did. and he knew this because, even as he looked up to catch her standing in the road, his heart froze. and then it ached, as if someone had shoved a scapel right through and forgot to remove it. his foot touched ground on the other side of his motorcycle, and he straddled the machine with his helmet clutched between his hands. he hadn't expected to see her there, though for the life of him he wasn't sure why. she was the reason he'd taken a professorship at Yale in the first place, despite the opportunity he'd been given. sebastian had chosen her over the company, though he'd never tell her this. rather, he'd made it seem as if his business had failed--he'd simply cut it's throat in the midst of it's debut. all for her. he wet his lips, every fiber of his body wanting him to walk over and act as if nothing was different. but he couldn't do that. instead, he was going to be a coward and drive away before she'd had the chance to spot him too. it seemed easier this way, at least for him. things woul--
"NATALIE!"
the scream ripped from his throat and before the man had time to process what was going on, he'd sprung from his bike and hurtled towards her. somewhere behind him, his bike made a defeaning clash to the ground, as he didn't have the kickstand in place. the SUV screeched, slidding uncontrollably along a sheet of ice. his breath blocked his view as he ran, and for a moment in time it seemed like he might die not knowing. but, as the fogginess cleared, he'd noticed the vehicle had stopped barely inches from it's unintended target, a man was hanging out of it's door yelling something, and natalie's form suddenly crumpled to the floor. sebastian ran at the man, hands out to push the open door harshly into his chest as he screamed, "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HER!" he wanted to throw his fist into the man's face and bloody him, but his friend needed him far more than he needed to throttle this guy. he turned and jogged to natalie's side, pushing and pulling away the people that now crowded her body in concern. "get out of my way, move!" he nudged someone and at last fell to his knees besides the woman's unmoving form. "n-natalie?" he choked out, partly from shock and the rest from fear. he didn't hit her. he didn't hit her. she's okay; she fainted. even repeating this, it could not calm sebastian down.
he reached for her hand, grasping it tightly, leaning over her form. his fingers grazed her cheek delicately, and he blinked to hold back some surprising tears. "come on nat, you cannot leave me now," he said, voice stronger and yet still broken from the emotion trying to push through. "wake up. i'm sorry, i'm sorry i said all those things. i didn't mean it. you have to know i didn't." his fingers sank into her hair, and he pressed his forehead to hers with a shuddering breath. what was he going to do?
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Post by natalie on Dec 10, 2009 10:59:24 GMT -5
this sad story always ends the same ,M E S T A N D I N G I N T H E P O U R I N G R A I N .
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - SEBASTIAN , 1208 WORDS , COMPLETED , THE TROUBLE WITH LOVE IS - KELLY CLARKSON
( it's shitty from beginning to end, sorreh. ) it felt as though she had fallen into a deep black hole. it was a hole full of nothingness except for herself. so had she died? there wasn't any telling considering she lay there almost comatose, yet she felt no pain beforehand. if she was hit, surely she had to feel some excruciating pain for it was an SUV - such a monstrous vehicle which showed no signs of mercy. although she didn't feel anything, and only the numbness from the shock. perhaps that what it was, the shock. maybe she indeed died from the initial shock which came from almost being hit. natalie however had never heard of such cases where people died directly from the overwhelming shock, unless you counted electric shocks or heart attacks that came due to shock. but natalie was healthy, and plus she would have felt her heart ache too. oh wait, her heart ached but not because of that particular case. anyway, so the woman remained lifeless on the cold ground, not showing any signs of waking up any time soon. it wasn't as if she needed to wake up though, because after losing the one person that meant the whole world to her, sebastian, what was the use of staying alive? natalie loved - or more like was in love - with her best friend, and she needed him more than she realised. as cliche as it sounded, she lived just for him.
at this moment in her lifetime, there wasn't much left for her to live for. she had already graduated college, was living comfortably in a beautiful town, and was working the job she had always dreamed of. to her, she felt as though she'd achieved most of life, however there were a few more pieces of life that natalie had to find and put together to feel completely satisfied with it. for instance, she wanted to get married and have children, but there was no way she could go about it now because the best friend she wanted to share this with was gone. it was all thanks to the stupid expectation she had of him that day in front of his house when he somewhat proposed. having giving herself two whole weeks to think about what she really wanted, she knew what she was going to say to him had he asked her. to her, saying that three letter word was also saying that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him and not just as the type of friends that everyone had known them to be. saying 'yes' was also saying that she wanted to walk down the aisle with him waiting on the other side; to wake up in the mornings and be greeted with his sleeping face; to be the one carrying his first child; and to be the last person he ever says 'i love you' to. it was everything she had dreamed of becoming... if only she had said it. see, little did she know, sebastian's idea of a proposal was something more of a demand - or a declaration that she'd marry him - and natalie was just meant to go with it. being a traditionalist, natalie wanted him to instead get down on one knee as he held her hand and say, 'natalie, will you marry me?' ha. obviously the woman expected too much considering it was the way jonathan asked her. only his was more elaborate on top of the eiffel tower with a brand new tiffany's diamond ring during their senior year spring break. jonathan was wealthy beyond measure however so nat wasn't looking for expensive materialistic items, only the gesture... which would have meant a lot to her.
everything was her fault. she screwed up her own perfect life. after all these years she should have known better than to expect anything from her best friend. but because she had, as a result, it pushed him away. he also assumed she was playing games, when in all honesty she wasn't. she truly was blind to the gestures he showed to her, and instead interpreted them as something a best friend would do. who knew that it was actually torturing and hurting him. she was guilty of the fact that she had done this to him - breaking his heart god knows how many times as well as rejecting him twice. no one could really blame him for giving up on her and moving on ( she assumed ), but natalie didn't want him to. he had given himself more time in chasing her than a normal man would have, and to be honest, if natalie was a guy she would have moved on from the blind girl after ten years... give or take. he had no idea how much she loved him for his dedication and loyalty especially since he loved her first. for natalie, it wasn't until her senior year of high school. prom night, to be exact. it was 2am and sebastian had come to pick up a distraught natalie who had just been dumped by her quarterback boyfriend. it was the first time she realised she had feelings for her best friend, and the first night they slept together. after that she could never see him the same way and instead pretended to act as though nothing meaningful happened. the simple question was why? the girl was afraid. never being in love before, she was scared of making the wrong moves and screwing things up... which she managed to do twice this year. she'd blown both chances and was probably never going to get another one.
natalie didn't see the need to wake up. nor did she really want to. she screwed up, so what was the point? she could continue to lay there motionless, allow everyone to think she was dead and she wouldn't care. although, after a few intense minutes, sound began to ring in her ears. as she slowly regained consciousness, the ringing evolved into a low muffled voice most likely a male's. immediately she figured that someone had called the paramedics, but as the voice continued on it became clearer and clearer to a point where her heart had stopped. that voice... she'd heard it so many times before. sebastian? what was he doing here? and more importantly, why was he apologising? she felt her head elevated, a weight upon her forehead and breathing upon her face and slowly, she opened her eyes. whoa, it really was him. this was an overwhelm of emotions - a tear came running down her cheek. seeing him scared like this, she wanted to cry. shit, she hurt him again unintentionally. she mustered up as much energy as she could to bring a hand up to gently hold his cheek. "i know." she croaked, barely able to make a whisper. she had to let him know that everything between them was her fault more than anything. now that he was here holding her like there was no tomorrow, she quietly cleared her throat, "it's all my fault." she had pretty much said that before, but everything felt so calm right now that maybe he would give her the time of day to explain. |
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