( EASE THE SUFFERING )

[tristan]

lips need no introduction, now who's the

[/i][/size][/font][/color]
GREATER SIN? YOUR DRAB EYES ALWAYS INVITE ME IN
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
TAG: ADELAIDE . LOCATION: THEIR APARTMENT
OUTFIT: HERE . WORD COUNT: EIGHT OH NINE
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/font][/b][/center]

Cutting his drug habit was something that Tristan knew he needed to do not only for his sake but for the sake of his brother, his mother and the girl that he wanted to have a future with, the girl whom he considered his best friend: Addie. He wanted to be someone she would be proud of dating, someone who she wouldn't mind introducing to her friends or people she cared about. On drugs he knew he was worthless and a complete asshole. He knew that he wasn't the best guy around but apparently he was good enough for Addie. There were other issues he still had to work out though, issues with himself before he could fully commit to her, too. Tristan had commitment issues, Addie knew that better than anyone else because over the three years that they had been dating on and off he had slept with other girls more than once. Most of the time it was when he was high or drunk but still, she didn't deserve that especially when she knew that he loved her, when he told her that he loved her but then he went to be with another girl. It wasn't that he was scared of committing to her it was just that when he was high / drunk he never really realized what he was doing. Sure there were few girls that he had slept with when he wasn't drunk nor high but they were few or far between, especially as of late.

Tristan had been stuck working all evening. He had went in at two pm and it was now nearly four in the morning when he was leaving. He hated it when people called off, absolutely loathed it and loathed them because they made him have to stay some place longer when he had better things to do with his time. Okay, well, he had gotten off at two thirty but he had to take a detour to go meet up with his dealer, Brian, who was still extremely unhappy with him about being over five hundred dollars in debt with him. It wasn't a position that Tristan wanted to be in, he had been needing more than what he usually got to get the same affect and he was quickly drained of money because of it. Tristan knew that he should ask someone for help like his brother or his mom but he couldn't. This was his problem not theirs and he refused to drag them into it. The same thing went for Addie. He knew how she was and he knew that if she found out just how deep of a hole he had dug himself in with Brian she would do anything to get him out of it but he couldn't let that happen. She had gotten out of this lifestyle and he was happy for her, he wasn't going to drag her back into it. She had escaped it and he was happy for her and he was going to make sure that she didn't fall back into it.

Upon arriving at the apartment Tristan made his way inside without a sound. It was pitch black and he knew that Addie was probably sleeping. He'd told her he was closing the bar and not to wait up for him and he was sort of glad that she didn't. As he made his way through the apartment to his room he tripped over something and ended up making something fall to the ground. With a groan he pulled his phone out and shone it so that he could pick up the books that had fallen off the end table he had slammed his leg off and upon reaching his room he pushed the door shut behind him and after searching along the wall for the light. When he found it he flicked it on which turned on the overhead light and he only left that on long enough so that he could cross the room and flick on the bedside lamp and then went back and turned off the other light that he turned on upon originally entering the room. Tristan pulled off his jacket and kicked off his shoes before moving over to the bathroom that joined his room with Addie's. After quietly pulling the door that led to her room shut he pulled out the bag of heroin that he had in his pocket. The young man's eyes diverted form the bag to the door that led to his best friend's room and he stared at it for a few long moments before sliding down to the floor. He couldn't do this anymore, he had to stop. Even if he didn't care about himself he knew that Addie cared for him and he didn't want to see her hurting because of him anymore.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
notes: i think he might make an effort.

[/size][/font][/center]

[adelaide]

i should have known better
THAN TRYING TO LET YOU GO, SO HERE WE GO, GO, GO AGAIN



TRISTAN DEGILIO , 1010 WORDS , CLOTHING , COMPLETE

her body shot out of bed for the third time that night. A cold sweat became obvious to her in a few moments and she wiped her face, before laying back down and trying to drift off again. It was the same old routine with Addie when Tristan worked all night like this. She never knew if he was actually working or going off to get high. She knew that he did that occasionally, as she was the one he used to get high with. After her overdose, things had become clear for her. She knew that quitting was the best thing for her and she had. It was hard on her and she still did have the cravings for heroin, or for marijuana or ecstasy. Many times she wondered how long it would take for the cravings to disappear completely. It was quite an accomplishment for her to get this far. She just kept thinking about what it would do to Tristan if she died. She knew that he depended on her. It was a two-way thing. Tristan was Addie's rock. He had kept her sane through everything that pair had been through. He was the reason she was here today. He had supported her thorugh the hardest time of her life, and even if it had lead to bad things, she was alive, and it was thanks to Tristan. He was her guardian angel in a sense. He was there when she needed someone to hold her when she cried. He was there when she needed someone to scream at. He was then when she needed someone to make her laugh.

thoughts of her sister kept going through her mind, mainly because her sister's birthday was approaching. It was hard to sleep seeing the face of her ever youthful sister. It wasn't just the happy images. It was the image of her dangling from the rafters, her skin tinged blue. Yes, Addie's sister, Marlene, had hung herself at the delicate age of seventeen. It had been hard for Addie to accept. She and her sister had been close. The two were best friends and Marlene always looked out for Addie. It had been a shock to the entire family when Marlene was found by then fourteen year old Addie. It had completely destroyed her. The death of her sister had caused her to spiral completely out of control. Drugs and thoughts of suicide came to mind. Tristan, her best friend in the entire world, was the reason she had resisted the suicide. Drugs had become her escape and she had dragged him into them to. His addiction was her fault and Addie was finding it hard to continue to live with that mistake. It was why she was working so hard to stop him from depending on them. If he died because of drugs, it would be her fault. She could not have another death on her conscience. She would honestly say, she had no idea what she would do if Tristan were not a part of her life. He meant everything to her and to not have him would be the worst possibly thing she could imagine.

finally, she found herself calming down. She readjusted her pillow and closed her eyes, trying to drift off. She had no idea what time it was, but she wanted to get as much sleep as she could before she had to get up the next morning. She felt herself relaxing and her mind finally going blank. Hopefully it would stay that way. She could not handle another dream about the possible bad things that could happen to Tristan, or another dream of her sister. She was on the edge of sleep and waking, dozing pleasantly, moments from taking the drop into sleep time when a crash roused her. She looked towards her door, hearing nothing for a few moments. She resumed her position upon hearing footsteps and a door close. It was only Tristan. The brief light in his bedroom confirmed that. She yawned and snuggled back down into her pillow, feeling a lot more comforted knowing he was here and safe. She turned over, urging her mind to go blank again. Knowing Tristan was home, it was hard for her to sleep. She wanted to feel his body beside hers. However, she had to be up well before he did, so sleeping with him was not a good idea. She would just wake him up when she had to leave for work. Then again, she didn't start until twelve, so she had a while of sleeping and would enjoy the feeling of his hard body holding her close, keeping her nightmares away.

making up her mind, she rose to her feet after laying in bed for a while longer. She could have gone through the hallway, but it was easier walking through the bathroom. In her half-asleep state, it took her a moment to realise that the bathroom door was closed. That wasn't right. She usually kept it open. She chewed her lip, opening it and seeing Tristan on the floor. That was strange. Her mind immediately flew to panic. Her thoughts were irrational and illogical. However, a few moments passed and she caught site of the heroin in his hand. She was very unimpressed. "You just couldn't resist could you?" she asked him coldly before turning and walking back into her room, slamming the bathroom door shut behind her. Hell, it was some ungodly hour. She was not in the mood to be arguing with him. She just crawled back into her bed with her back facing the bathrooom. She didn't have any right to be upset with him really, but she was tired, irritable and had spent all night worried about him to see him on the floor with a lot of heroin. He was already in trouble with his dealer and he was buying more drugs. He wouldn't even let her help him with the debt. She wasn't in the mood to deal with any of this right now.

[tristan]

lips need no introduction, now who's the

[/i][/size][/font][/color]
GREATER SIN? YOUR DRAB EYES ALWAYS INVITE ME IN
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
TAG: ADELAIDE . LOCATION: THEIR APARTMENT
OUTFIT: HERE . WORD COUNT: ONE TWO ZERO ONE
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/font][/b][/center]

In his mind Tristan didn't think that he was that far into a hole of debt. In all honesty he thought that he was doing alright considering the fact that he had owed his dealer a lot more way back when Addie still drugs and he would often try to take her debt onto him to keep her out of harms way. Tristan had paid hers off, it hadn't been a lot at all but because he was still involved in drugs and owed his dealer money for his now well, it was making this entire situation a lot more difficult than it should have been. He was going to fix it all though, he was going to pay Brian back and he was going to get out of drugs for good. One day, that was what he kept telling himself. One day everything would work out, one day he would go back to being a normal person who didn't depend on drugs. One day he would show the world that he was worth something. Who was he kidding? If he didn't even think much of himself how could other people think anything of him? He didn't see himself as useful so why would others? Sure Addie, Zeke and his mother had faith in him but they had to, it was like an unwritten code or something else like that. Whatever the reasoning was he didn't care, he just knew that they had to tell him that they thought something of him and that he could go somewhere in his life. He didn't have a high school diploma, he didn't want to go back to school and he had absolutely no goals for his life. Yeah, that was really the kind of person people wanted to trust with a company or put in a management position.

Tonight while at work Tristan had made the decision to try to kick the habit. Words that Addie had been speaking to him over and over again were finally starting to sink in. It probably had something to do with the thought of her in another man's arms and having a family with someone who wasn't him. Despite the fact that he was unfaithful that didn't change how he felt about her. Tristan's problem was that when he was high or drunk he didn't care who he slept with or who it hurt. He knew it was wrong and he knew that he shouldn't do it but sometimes it just happened. Tristan wanted to spend his life with Addie. He had told her that just last year when he realized that. The two of them had been on and off for the past three years mainly because of him, well that was a lie, it was completely his fault that they weren't going steady or that they hadn't already taken it pass the friendship stage. If he could just stay committed he knew things would work out perfectly between them, he was sure of it. Tristan had given Addie a present last Christmas, one that he hoped meant as much to him that it meant to him. It had been a promise ring and even though it wasn't that expensive or fancy but it was something that he had saved up for to show her that she did mean more to him than the other girls, that he did want a future with her.

As he sat on the bathroom floor, his hazel eyes staring at the bag of heroin that was in his hands Tristan thought of these things. Of his past with Addie of the possibility of a future with the two of them and it gave him hope. He knew that it would be a long and hard road for him but he had to do this for her sake. She had already lost one person and he wasn't going to have her lose another. The bag in his hand was tempting him though. Was there really anything wrong with one final high? Was there anything wrong with having it just this last time before throwing in the towel and quitting cold turkey? Moving forward slightly he pulled down the small container that had the needles, syringes and everything else that he used whenever he was home to get high. With shaky hands he opened it up but he couldn't pull the items out, he couldn't. Placing the container on the ground with one hand he pushed it away from him and leaned his head back against the wall and let his eyes slide closed. There was a battle going on in his mind right now, one that he needed to find the strength to win. Even though he thought that he needed the drugs he couldn't help but think about how Addie seemed to be dealing with everything. She hadn't had drugs in five months and she was still alive. Sure he could tell that she was struggling through it sometimes he tried his best to make sure that he didn't do them in her presence. He wouldn't let her fall back into this hole, especially after seeing her on that hospital bed and not being sure if she was going to make it out alive.

It was the image of Addie pale on that bed, the images of him finding her on the floor in the apartment unmoving, the images of her getting wheeled into that ambulance that finally made up his mind. This was going to be the end of it for him. He couldn't continue to do this and have her someday haunted by the images of him like he had of her. He was going to make a conscious effort to quit, tonight. The bag that was in his hand was not going to be used. He was going to get rid of it and he was going to do it for her. Tristan was just about to move to the toilet to flush the drugs when the door to the bathroom opened and he was faced with his best friend. Before he could even say anything she spoke to him in a cold tone and it was followed by the slam of the door moments later. Tristan let his gaze go from the door, to the bag in his hand to the toilet then to the syringe and needle on the floor. Whatever decision he was going to make he needed to make it now. Finally after a few moments of thought he opened the bag slowly and poured it into the toilet with a flinch. There was a ton of money he was about to flush but he didn't care right now. It was the right thing to do, that was what he kept telling himself. Bringing his hand to the knob of the toilet he flushed it before tossing the bag in the trash can along with the container that had the needles and syringes in it before opening up the bathroom door that led to her room and he pushed it open. "Ads, come on.

[/color]" He mumbled quietly as he crawled into the bed beside her and inched over to her. "I flushed it. I'm done.[/color]"[/size][/font][/justify][/blockquote]

[adelaide]

i should have known better
THAN TRYING TO LET YOU GO, SO HERE WE GO, GO, GO AGAIN



TRISTAN DEGILIO , 1069 WORDS , CLOTHING , COMPLETE

betrayal coursed through her. She should not have felt betrayed as he hadn't deliberately gone against her, but she did. He had told her he would try and a few days later she found him with a bag of heroin. It was even worse that he had brought drugs into the apartment they shared when he knew she had just kicked the habit herself. It may have been five months down the line, but it did not get easier to resist temptation when it was staring her right in the face. Tristan knew how hard it was for her. He had seen her struggling every day, yet felt nothing about bringing drugs into their home. There was something extremely wrong with that picture. Addie felt like he was deliberately sabotaging her, although her logical mind told her it wouldn't happen. She was angry and half-asleep which no doubt led to irrational thoughts. It just seemed like such a careless thing for him to do. It took Addie a lot to even accept the fact that he did drugs, but for him to bring them here was too much. Seeing the heroin in his hand had started sudden cravings, which is why she had left in such a hurry instead of lecturing him. She wanted to up and leave the premises, knowing that drugs were here was tempting her. She was not throwing five months of hard work away, but it was almost physicaly painful to resist. She squeezed her pillow tightly and buried her face in it. Temptation was overwhelming.

sighing, she turned once hearing the familiar voice sliding into the bed beside her. Her eyebrows raised, not quite sure whether to believe him or not. He had never lied to her before, so what reason did he really have? Instead of responding straight away, she resumed her position, staring at the opposite wall. Hard to believe that he had just wasted that much money by flushing it away. Had it been the shock of being caught? Had he actually considered quitting? Or was it just some act so she would not get angry at him? She had heard him tell her that he would quit before, but it had always been a pathetic effort and he was back to buying in a matter of days. Addie tried to be supportive, but it was hard watching him go and ruin his life because of something she had introduced him to. He meant the world to her and she couldn't stand watching him hurt himself like that. "Really?" she asked him, not looking at him. She just wanted to hear him say it. She also wanted to hear his reasoning, which she had a feeling he would give to her without prompting. He knew her well enough to know that she liked to know what was going through his mind at all times. It helped her know how she could assist, and helped her understand what he was going through. Those two things were her job as his best friend and the girl he loved.

with a huge yawn, she let her eyes fall shut for a moment. Addie was so tired, but she could not manage to doze off for longer than a few hours. Each time, sleep was accompanied by images of Tristan's lifeless form, or happy memories of her sister, punctured by the image of her lifeless body hanging by a rope about her neck. Addie was so sick at heart, but she couldn't find the energy to cry or rage or whatever it was she needed to do to release the emotions inside of her. Her breath caught as an image of her sister flashed before her eyes. It had nearly been six years and Addie still remembered how her sister looked, including that single picture of hair that never used to sit right on her head. God, Addie missed her. She missed her so much it physically hurt. She should have seen the signs her sister was sending. So many times she had hinted that something was wrong, but Addie just let it go. She had been so happy - except about her parents' rocky marriage - that it seemed like nothing could go wrong. How wrong she had been. "Do you think it'll ever stop?" she asked Tristan suddenly. She needed to speak to someone about it before she went insane. The closer it got to Marlene's birthday, the more out of place she felt. The more she hurt and the less she slept. Addie felt like she was losing her sister all over again. The memories would flood back, including all the days where it had just been her and Marlene, talking and laughing. God, she wished that things could be the same.

her eyes slowly opened, as the images became more vivid. She had to pull herself together before she lost it completely. She wanted to cry, but she would keep herself together. Addie was a strong person who hated people seeing her weak. The death of her sister had occurred six years ago, yet twice a year, the shock hit her like it had happened all over again. It was hard as it approached her sister's birthday, November twenty-eight, and the day her sister died, March fifth. Both days caused her a great deal of distress. It was usually something she was good at keeping hidden, but for some reason it was so much worse now. Was it the fact that she had nothing to numb her pain with? Or the fact that she now had another person to look after, to make sure that his death was not her fault? She didn't know, but Addie just wished that she could have an answer. Maybe an answer would help her sleep at night. "I keep seeing her face, Tristan. Marlene smiling and then..." She trailed off, her voice shaking too much for her to want to continue. She felt like such an idiot. She had not been this upset since seeing the look on Tristan's face when she woke up in hospital in June. It had been so hard seeing her best friend hurting because of her. Things had been hard for her for too long. For once, Addie wished things could be simple. She was tired of wondering, tired of hurting and tired of waiting for the silver lining to make an appearance.

[tristan]

lips need no introduction, now who's the

[/i][/size][/font][/color]
GREATER SIN? YOUR DRAB EYES ALWAYS INVITE ME IN
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
TAG: ADELAIDE . LOCATION: THEIR APARTMENT
OUTFIT: HERE . WORD COUNT: ONE ZERO SEVEN ONE
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/font][/b][/center]

When Tristan had went to see Brian tonight he had every intention to get some more drugs. It was the walk there that had changed his mind though. Instead of buying more to fuck up his life with he gave Brian some of the money he owed him and left. He knew he had a bag in his pocket that he could have if he really wanted it. The walk home had really made him think though. He knew he needed to quit, he knew that what he was doing to Addie wasn't fair and he knew that eventually she would get sick of it and move on from him. He couldn't have that, he refused to sit back and watch some other guy sweep her off her feet because he was still some drug fucked loser who was going nowhere in life. His thoughts had been solely on forcing himself to flush the bag when she emerged into the bathroom and the look on her face nearly killed him. he knew what she was going through, he knew that it was still hard for her to stay clean and he knew that what she just witnessed wasn't helping any. Tristan had been pretty good when it came to not bringing drugs in the apartment but tonight he had. It was late and he hadn't expected her to be up. Apparently he was wrong though and the way she both spoke and looked at him made him wish he could have just quit when she had.

When Tristan slid into the bed beside her he draped one of his muscular arms over her and slid close to her. She was the reason he was quitting. She was the reason why he was going to become a better person. He didn't care about himself in the least bit or what happened to him but he cared about her more than he could even put into words. She was the only reason he was still alive and if he owed her anything it was this. Tristan was going to try his hardest to become a better person, to show her that he was actually worthy of her. He doubted that he would ever feel like he deserved her but he could try, right? "I was about to flush it before you came in.

[/color]" He responded quietly as he placed a soft kiss to her clothed shoulder. "I won't put you through this anymore.[/color]" Tristan was going to try his hardest, he knew that it wouldn't be easy and that with the luck he had that it would probably take a few attempts before he actually got it right but he was going to do this. He was going to make her proud of him, he was going to make her actually want to tell people that he was hers, that she was with him. He wanted to be the guy that she could count on to provide for her. Even though he really saw nothing good in himself to live he wouldn't leave Addie alone. She was his only reason for living right now. It might have been pathetic in the eyes of others but it was the truth for him. "I want to be a better person for you.[/color]"

As he laid beside her Tristan let his body inch closer to her own so that he was right up against her. He didn't want anything more than this right now. He just wanted to hold her, to let her know that he wasn't going anywhere. She was his world and even though he wasn't the most faithful of guys and even though he screwed up time and time again she still loved him and that meant everything to him. As silence settled between them he let his thoughts drift to everything the two of them had been through over the past years. The good and the bad. She had always done so much for him and he never felt as if he was worthy of being the guy for her. He got lucky though and he had the love of a beautiful woman that was his best friend. He didn't know how he got so lucky to win her love, especially after everything that he did but Tristan knew better than to question it. When she spoke up he could honestly say that he didn't know what she was talking about. "What will stop?[/color]" He asked quietly as he pulled her closer to him. He knew that something had been bothering her recently but she wouldn't talk to him about it. He only hoped that tonight would be different and she would tell him what was going on. He wanted to help her but he couldn't if he didn't know what was bothering her.

Tristan knew what time of year it was and that it was always hard for her but he honestly didn't even think about that as he laid beside her. As he waited for her to talk to him he let his arm hold her close and his lips kiss her shoulder gently. There was only so much he could do to comfort her when he didn't know what was wrong but he was trying his best by doing things that he knew usually calmed her down. When she spoke up his thoughts were confirmed and he let out an inaudible sigh. He remembered the day that her sister had died, he had been over her house and heard her scream, he had been the one to hold her when they wheeled her sister out in the body bag. He had seen how distressed she had been and he never wanted to see that again. "Shh, come here, baby.[/color]" He whispered quietly as he tightened his grip on her. Trist didn't know how much he could actually do to help her, he knew that no matter what he did or said it couldn't heal what she had seen or what she had been through but he could be there for her. He could hold her in his arms and be her crying shoulder like he always had been. He wouldn't let her go through this alone, he never had and he never would. "I know it's hard, Ads.[/color]" His voice was soft and his touch was gentle as he laid there beside her. He needed to do something to help her, anything.[/size][/font][/justify][/blockquote]